Please Sir, We Want Some More!

The Perverts Picnic: Saturday July 9th 2011

2011-06-13T11:26:00.000-07:00

The Erotic Book Club and Kinky Salon London present....

THE PERVERTS PICNIC

Saturday 9th July 2011
1pm - sunset
Haggerston Park, London

What to bring:
Rug, food, booze, fabulous attire, music, suncream, hulla hoops, bubbles, kites, frisbees AND a very open mind.

What to expect:
Who knows? This is the first one! Come along, see some old friends, meet some new ones and make of it what you will!

What if it rains?:
Then god obviously hates us. Kidding. We'll msg you the day before if the forecast looks sucky.

Location:
Situated at the back of Hackney City Farm and about 5 minutes from London Fields, this is a delightful East London summery spot. Entrance via Whiston Rd. Google map: http://tinyurl.com/haggerstonpark
Nearby transport options:
Overland: Hoxton Station (5 minutes walk)
Buses - Whiston Rd: 394 (stops right outside the park)
Buses - Kingsland Rd: 67, 149, 242, 243 (Stop: St Leonard's Hospital, 2 minutes walk)
Buses - Hackney Rd: 26, 48, 55 (Stop: Queensbridge Rd, 2 minutes walk)

This is a sex-positive, queer-friendly, trans-friendly event. Hell, it's probably even a child-friendly event if you want them to turn out like us!

If anyone would like to make a suggestion, organise some kind of performance or promote their pervy organisation on the day, please contact fannyminka@gmail.com in advance.

If you are not already a member we suggest you check out The Erotic Book Club (facebook.com/eroticbookclub) and Kinky Salon London (www.kinkysalonlondon.co.uk)

To see the event page on Facebook, go here

Picture of the Week

2011-06-08T13:57:00.000-07:00

Vincent Cassel and Monica Bellucci by Ellen von Unwerth

The Perverts Guide To Cinema: Cannes 2011

2011-06-04T08:55:00.000-07:00

**Disclaimer: this blog has no link to the amazing 2006 documentary but we do adore Slavoj Žižek. Who doesn't?**

This year, Cannes premiered a few saucy titles. Here's the ones you should seek out:

L'APOLLONIDE - SOUVENIRS DE LA MAISON CLOSE (HOUSE OF TOLERANCE)
Dir/scr: Bertrand Bonello. France. 2011. 125mins

The dawn of the 20th century: L'Apollonide, a house of tolerance, is living its last days.
In this closed world, where some men fall in love and others become viciously harmful, the girls share their secrets, their fears, their joys and their pains...

Basically a whole bunch of French tit-tillation, from the the director of The Pornographer (2001), On War (2008), Tiresia (2003), and the 2005 homage to Cindy Sherman.

Set for release in the following territories so far:
France - Haut et Court (21 September 2011)
Australia - Rialto Entertainment
Brazil - Petrini
Former Yugoslavia states - MegaCom Film
Germany - NFP marketing & distribution
Greece - Strada Films
Portugal - Atalanta Filmes
US - Sundance Selects

LA PIEL QUE HABITO (THE SKIN I LIVE IN)
Dir: Pedro Almodovar. Spain. 2011. 116mins

Ever since his wife was burned in a car crash, Dr. Robert Ledgard, an eminent plastic surgeon, has been interested in creating a new skin with which he could have saved her. After twelve years, he manages to cultivate a skin that is a real shield against every assault.

In addition to years of study and experimentation, Robert needed a further three things: no scruples, an accomplice and a human guinea pig. Scruples were never a problem. Marilia, the woman who looked after him from the day he was born, is his most faithful accomplice. And as for the human guinea pig...

An erotic thriller by Almodovar starring Antonio "I was in gay porn before I was famous" Banderas. What's not to love?

Set for release in the following territories so far:
UK - ? (26 August 2011)
Spain - Warner Bros. (2 September 2011)
Russia - ? (15 September 2011)
Germany - ? (20 October 2011)
US - Sony Pictures Classics (18 November 2011)
Canada - Sony Pictures Classics (18 November 2011)
France - Pathé (18 November 2011)
Italy - ? (18 November 2011)
Benelux - A-Film

SLEEPING BEAUTY
Dir/scr: Julia Leigh. Australia. 2011. 101mins

Lucy, a young university student, takes a job as a Sleeping Beauty to fund her studies.

She goes to sleep. She wakes up. And it's as if those hours never existed...

Psycho-sexual drama starring Emily Browning - for those of you who bothered to see SUCKER PUNCH (we did - it sucked) will recognise her impish face - and Rachel Blake from the amazing LANTANA. The young girl accepts work that involves being drugged and allowing old men to do as they wish while she is knocked out. Should be interesting.

Set for release in the following territories so far:

Australia/ N.Z. - Transmission (23 June 2011)

Russia /CIS - Carmen Films (25 August 2011)

US - Sundance Selects

France - Arp

Benelux - WIld Bunch

Greece - Seven Films

Switzerland - Xenix

Baltics - Incognito

Canada - eOne

Israel - Lev Cinemas

UK - Revolver

SKOONHEID (BEAUTY)
Dir/scr: Oliver Hermanus. South Africa/France. 2011. 104mins

Francois lives a skillfully controlled, well managed life, in Bloemfontein, South Africa. Father of two daughters and a devoted husband, he is wholly unprepared when a chance encounter unravels his clean and ordered existence.

23-year-old Christian is the son of a long lost friend. By all accounts he is the personification of a handsome young man in the prime of his life. Francois is so disarmed by the young man that it instantly ignites within him an all consuming infatuation and misplaced lust.

Despite his careful concealed disgust for himself, Francois pours out the lost emotions he has despised all his life in what becomes a desperate attempt at taking from the world that which he has always secretly wanted: Happiness.

Winner of this years Queer Palm award, you get the feeling this story of repressed desire and secret longing doesn't have a happy ending....

---------------
Also see Romanian coming of age drama LOVERBOY, and the opening sequence of French film L’EXERCISE DE L’ETAT (THE MINISTER) with an opening dream sequence in which a naked woman disappears into the mouth of a massive crocodile

And for a bit of trivia, remember the amazing blue opera singing Diva Plavalaguna in the brilliance that was THE FIFTH ELEMENT?
Well, Maïwenn Le Besco who played her just directed and starred in POLISSE, which won the Jury Prize :)

Meow Meow is back!

2011-06-04T08:21:00.000-07:00

The divine Ms Meow Meow is back at the Apollo Theatre this June 23rd - 25th! Make sure you do not miss this!

We saw her show last year and fell under her spell - read our 2010 review here.

You can book tickets here.

London Sex Worker Film Festival

2011-05-30T08:39:00.000-07:00

We were very excited to see this upcoming film festival of sex worker films. Highlights include a documentary about the Hackney Council fight against the strip clubs and sex shops in the area, plus a guide on how to deal with relationships for people who date sex workers.

Could be very interesting indeed.

The First Ever London Sex Worker Film Festival

Featuring discussion, documentaries and films from across the UK and internationally.

Programme Sex worker Film festival 2011
Sunday 12th of June at RIO Cinema, Hackney

From 1.15 til 5.30 pm

Tickets are £9 /£7 concessions,
all funds raised to cover expenses of Sex worker Open University 2011 !

Check out the full programme here

Hugh Heffner documentary screening - this Saturday!

2011-05-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

The new documentary by Oscar-winning director Brigitte Berman, Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist and Rebel, will be shown this weekend as part of the London International Documentary Festival at the Soho Hotel, including a discussion afterwards with the director.

A revealing look at the outspoken, flamboyant founder of the Playboy empire. With humour and insight, the film captures Hefner’s fierce battles with the government, the religious right and militant feminists. Rare footage and compelling interviews with a remarkable who’s who of 20th Century American pop culture, present a brilliant and entertaining snapshot of the life of an extraordinary man and the controversies that surrounded him.

Tickets are £18.50 or you can attend the festivals closing night party at the Groucho Club too for £35. Tickets are available on the LIDF website.

Saturday 28 May 2011
7:30 pm
Soho Hotel
4 Richmond Mews
London
W1D 3DH

Bordello 50% off sale - this long weekend!

2011-05-24T10:36:00.000-07:00

Our favourite East London lingerie boutique, Bordello, is having a mid season sale this weekend, with up to 50% brands in store including:

Ell & Cee
Ayten Gasson
Fred & Ginger
Miss Mandalay
Made by Niki
and
BeBaroque

Fanny's favourite piece from these collections is the Starry Night Body Suit from Ell & Cee:

55 Great Eastern Street
London EC2A 3HP
020 7503 3334
bordello-london.com‎

Make sure you don't miss out!

Rihanna We Fucking Love you

2011-02-12T09:05:00.000-08:00

WE LOVE:Playboy's Tron Tribute Porn

2010-12-19T07:07:00.000-08:00

Wow, whilst we're eagerly awaiting the cyber sleek wonder that the new Tron Movie promises to be, we've been very excited to see the latest in Tron fan fetishism. Check out playboy's new "Game On" Tron themed shoot.

Starring Irina Voronina and Sasckya Porto it's a thing of electro shiny fetish wonder, meeeow! Let's hope the film lives up to the fan fiction already being made...

Picture of the week

2010-11-29T10:33:00.000-08:00

After a long hiatus, Robin and Fanny are back just in time for the winter. And so it seems is Skin Two magazine! With no printed editions since 2008, we are excited to see it return. And what a cover!!!

Our Erotic Book Club in Time Out

2010-10-26T14:06:00.000-07:00

Oooooh! Our Erotic Book Club is featured in a little write up in this week's Time Out Magazine!

As they so eloquently put it:

"Think that book clubs are all about Healthcliffe, Darcy and Mr Rochester? Here's a naughtly little soirée to prove you otherwise. At this alternative book club, there's a new saucy fiction each month (this month it's 'Emmanuelle', so get flicking quickly) to get your teeth into alongside a young, hip east London audience (and not a crusty old lech in sight!). What's more, it's free and you're encouraged to bring a bottle too."

Check out the review here and come along to our next book club, held on the last Thursday of the month at the fantastic Bokship at Donlon Books

Picture Of The Week

2010-10-23T12:00:00.001-07:00

Meeow! He makes the loveliest shoes on the planet, and my god these are no exception. Simply screaming with fetishistic detailing.

Taken from our new favorite tumblr Fuck Yeah Louboutin

WE LOVE:Painted Peep Show Plates

2010-10-18T06:59:00.000-07:00

When we first saw these delicious plates from Painted Peepshow our breath was quite taken away. A truly decadent dining set if ever there was one. The limited edition designs on fine bone china are just filthy enough to turn any eye at even the most open minded of dinner parties, but cheeky enough that even your mum would chuckle when being served her chocolate cake on them!

Some of the designs are a little more disguised amongst damask style patterns, leaping out at you when you finally 'get' what's going on on your plate, others are bold brash and in your face from the start.

Currently available at the recently opened Sh! in Portobello, these lovelies are doubtlessly going to sell like hotcakes, so grab them while you can.

Mmmmmm x x x

Selfridges Shoe Galleries

2010-10-14T11:06:00.000-07:00

Ever since Selfridges announced they were re-opening their Shoe Galleries, we had been chomping at the bit waiting to get a peek. The numbers alone were impressive: "With 55000 shoes in stock at any one time and 4000 shoes on display from over 150 brands", This was indeed a cathedral to consumption.

Alas, to be honest dear readers, we were hoping for a little more. The place is lovely, rich coloured seats, dark lighting and literally piles and piles of shiny spiky stilettos jumping out at you. I guess it's just the way things are now, but there really wasn't much new, about the "New Shoe Galleries". Once you've seen the seasonal collection of heels from Office in their high street store, nice as they may be, there really isn't much to yelp about seeing them again in a pretty new setting. That seemed to pretty much be the problem, there were hundreds of shoes, from lots of well known brands, but all of which we'd seen before. For such a monument to foot fetishists, there really wasn't much that grabbed your attention. The leap from high street shoes, up to extortionate designer artworks was left with a chasm of lacking choice for anything in the middle. It was either spend £75 on the latest heels from your regular high street brand or £1700 on something garish from Gucci.

Of course there is always the exception that proves the rule. Monsieur Louboutin's boutique at the back of the galleries, was as always exceptional. Filled to the brim with the aphrodisiac heels and lustful gasps from the shoppers. The young man in the bow tie helping ladies put their shoes on, was living every foot fetishists dream doing his day job. Christian if you ever need someone to help out around the shop, Robin is always available.

One final thing to note, were these rather obscure and fantastic creations from Chau Har Lee seemingly exclusive to Selfridges on a made to order basis they quite took our breath away. Alas they also come with a price tag that we can't quite muster just yet. If the galleries had had a few more exciting finds like these dotted around and a few less generic brands (Chanel and River Island we're looking at you) cluttering up the fantasy it would have been quite perfect.

Gutterslut Ball 09/10/10

2010-10-12T10:47:00.000-07:00

Putting on the trashiest, most exciting, most adventurous, best and worst dressed parties in London, the Gutter Slut crew did it again with their recent Gutter Ball. As they put it themselves "THE three Fs are what East London's Gutterslut live by - filth, fun and fashion. A tranny loving, punky-chic gathering of the brash, the bold and the beautiful"

More stiletto wearing, fucked wig, fantastic tranny madness than you can shake a stick at, the Rhythm Factory was brought alive to the sound of hundreds of sweaty, screeching, cheering East London drag ravers. Per QX as usual ripped up the main floor with electro goodness, whilst the back room was jumping with more proper disco. Jonny Woo held court on the stage, calling the assembled trannys up for a show and calling on the crowd to cheer them along.

All in all, this was once again a fantastic night out, an incredibly celebratory, participatory night. Ego's were left at the door and everyone lived out their fantasy as THE dancing queen.

Keep your eyes peeled for the next one.

more pictures by Lorenzo Rosi

Video Of The Week

2010-10-04T03:53:00.000-07:00

This week's Picture of the week is a video, sent to us by our lovely friend Nick, it's the hottest thing we've ever seen with no nudity, no contact and not even any language.
meooow!

Picture of the week

2010-09-26T06:10:00.000-07:00

After being distraught to find that there wasn't yet a fuckyeah cameltoe tumblr website. (according to wikipedia cameltoe is one word not two) Robin took it on himself to create the legend that will soon become www.fuckyeahcameltoe.tumblr.com let the followers come running.

We Recommend Dans Le Noir

2010-09-21T10:30:00.001-07:00

Dans Le Noir is perhaps not the most obviously erotic place that we've blogged about here, but it's certainly the most bizarre, and has assuredly earnt it's place amongst our saucy pages. With restaurants in both Paris and London this eating place with a difference seems to have caught people's imagination.

The concept of Dans Le Noir is quite simple, a restaurant in total darkness, complete and utter black, with food served by blind waiters. As you are led to your seat, arm resting on the shoulder of the person in front of you, not only are your senses heightened, your nerves set on edge, but you immediately become aware of how much we all rely on our sight. The tables are suddenly turned, and Adil our blind waiter gliding effortlessly around the space, is suddenly the one without a disability.

The food is set up as 4 surprise menu's with a veggie, fish, meat or total surprise. Your waiter takes your hand and places a dish in it and you have to guess what you've been served. Cutlery becomes a nuisance, and you find yourself feeling around your plate to enable yourself to eat. The food isn't cheap, with a standard £39 two course meal, plus drinks, however you're paying for the experience here, not just the food.

As you sit at your table, quite close to other couples, you find yourself eavesdropping in and out of the accompanying conversations. A sense of camaraderie builds amongst the diners as you all revel in your inability to eat as normal.

The sense of eroticism in the place is quite high, sitting so close to other diners it's almost impossible to resist sneaking a kiss or a feel of each other at the table as they eat unaware. As you settle down and become more confident in your blindness you begin to take greater risks, hoping that the lovely couple you were just chatting with in the dark don't hear as you fumble and kiss each other inches from them.

Lead back once more into the light once you finish your meal and the surreal experience comes to an end. Your waiter who walks you back to the entrance suddenly becomes the one who can't move around as freely, and you realise the gift of sight that you have.

Picture Of The Week

2010-09-12T12:35:00.000-07:00

Wow, Lady Gaga does it again with a Drag King photoshoot for Vogue Japan. The lady just keeps pushing our buttons, top marks.

Picture of the week

2010-08-16T06:15:00.001-07:00

Fanny has just covered our sofa in luxurious leopard print faux fur. This image from the smoking hot ...shiny, sexy, grubby tumblr, we thought was a perfect illustration of the depravities we hope such a saucy sofa will host.

Agent Lynch'sStudio 64 at the Brickhouse

2010-08-12T14:36:00.000-07:00

Running from the 4th - 28th August Agent Lynch takes over the Brickhouse on Brick Lane for her Studio 64 revue. As they say "it’s been 30 years since Steve Rubell’s Studio 54 closed in New York in 1980 but the spirit of disco lives again at Studio 64 at the Brickhouse". Agent Lynch heads up a rotating line up of disco inspired cabaret acts with everything from Pans People style dance acts from the Beaux Belles, to amazing hula hoop skills and even an exploding bra!

Having been a fan of Agent Lynch's since she asked Fanny and I to fire her confetti cannons at a performance she was doing for a film wrap party, to say I was eager to head along and see this show was an understatement. I'd not been in the Brickhouse since it had been used for the annual free range exhibition space so I was also keen to see what they'd done with the place. Fanny and I dressed up in true disco style, her in a hot blue glittery one shoulder onsey and me rocking my best saturday night fever meets scarface coke head look. The venue comprises of three floors, which were each cleverly labelled by the compere as the VIP balcony, the middle class balcony and the flea pit ground floor, by far the best view for the show is in the flea pit, but at least the people staring down from the lofty upper floor felt they had got a good deal. I think the venue would do better though to encourage some people from the balconies down the floor to pack out the atmosphere a little more though.

The amazing Myra Dubois compere extraordinaire came on and warmed up the crowd, which seemed to consist of a lot of burlesque 50's styled hen nights, before the resident Beaux Belles took to the stage with a dance routine. Following this Agent Lynch burst onto the stage with her new Rhinestone indian routine. Honestly it's really nice to see someone who obviously enjoys performing, and smiles all the way through her routines, it makes a change from the cold faced glamour pusses of various other shows we've seen of late. Then wrapping up the first half was the incredible Donald with a tongue in cheek, sailor boy hula hoop routine which sent the crowd wild. I slipped off to the loo in the interval, alas to find it was one with toilet attendants charging you and attempting to spray you with aftershave (damn you coke heads!). The second half included a great comedy pole dance routine from Glory Pearl, a repeat apperance of the Beaux Belles all culminating in Agent Lynch's dramatic return and eventual mirrorballtastic exploding bra! I loved the compere who played the snarling drag diva act to a tee, Donald was my hero and Agent Lynch brought such obvious fun and enthusiasm to the stage that you were caught up and whooping along before you realised it. One thing that did feel a little out of synch for me were the resident Beaux Belles, and purely because they didn't take their clothes off. However as Jermaine Stewart taught us "we don't have to take our clothes off, to have a good time, yeah yeah". To be fair, I didn't expect Donald to suddenly strip either, although that might have been even more impressive if he'd manage to still hula at the same time.

All in all I loved the nights entertainment, and by all accounts from the table next to us the food was delicious too. Go down there, pack the place out and whoop your lungs out. 4 hula hoops and a cheeky wink out of 5.

We trotted in, attired in our disco finest, to the Brickhouse, a slim space which has definitely done its utmost best to be transformed into a 2-story mezzanine, cabaret-style dinning and performance space. Due to the terrifyingly small vaulted stage being only viewable from the top gallery only if you hang over the edge, we opted to stay on the ground floor, where it was mainly seated dinners, and hover by the bar. However, my silver booted heels never got the chance to tire as the dashing waiter quickly came and seated us in a prime viewing spot even though we weren't dining. The ground floor was dominated by two large tables of hens parties, and the next level (with really swish looking large dinning booths) it turned out was full of bucks and birthday parties. The rowdy table of Essex hens next to us did tell us the food was fabulous and it did look rather lovely.

The show in itself was fantastic. Myra Dubois wound the audience up by exchanging abuse with the 'slappers' next to us and generally snarling at anyone within eye shot, but really just hamming it up and proving herself to be a bit of sweetie when she dragged me up onto the stage to admire my outfit and try and pimp me out to any takers but thankfully (for Robin) there was none. It was at that moment I really sympathised with the performers as I realised what a hard sell the crowd was that night as rows of lifeless faces looked back at me. I really started wondering why any of them were actually there apart from obviously thinking they had to 'come to Shoreditch and do something' rather than actually getting into show. And what a show! I mean, come on, when Agent Lynch bounced on stage in her American Indian twist on the classic pop the balloon burlesque show and left with an accidental flash of her muff, what was not to love? Admittedly, Donald the hulla-hooping Kylie-sound-tracked smiley sailor boy did bring the house down with his skill and enthusiasm, and it was great to see Glory Pearl take the pole like a real woman (with a sense of comedy too) and when Ms Lynch came out astride a wooden horse in a mirror-ball bikini, I did get way too excited!

So yes, we loved the evening and would highly recommend making a night of it and going for dinner - but definitely book in advance! Either way though, don't miss this night out. Fanny gives this 3 and half lines of coke of the bar out of 5.

Picture of the week

2010-08-08T09:16:00.001-07:00

This week's picture of the week is from a photoshoot the stunning Megan Fox (please god don't let that be a stage name) did for a recent Interview Magazine cover and article. Ticking all the boxes, porcelain skin, jet black bob hair, blood red lips and shiny leather the transformers starlet stole our hearts. See the rest of the shoot, or even watch the video here.

Fanny's Film Fucks: July 2010

2010-08-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

Last month Fanny checked out:
Not much. Again. I haven't even seen Inception yet, but considering I only just saw Paranormal Activity (causing Robin and I to have spit-n-shake on the promise that neither of us would hover over the other at 2am), then you get the idea what the fuck kinda film blog this is. Either way, shit weather will return and my ass will be glued to a cinema settee once again.

SOUL BOY

Avoid this film at all cost. Seriously. Appalling.

BEAUTIFUL KATE

This is a pretty terrible trailer for what is a beautiful, sensual and challenging film. Structurally, the script needs a lot of work but I didn't mind the over-use of flashbacks, especially as they were shot in a Diving Bell and Butterfly style. However, I have to say that, being an erotically charged film set in isolated Australia, it was highly likely that I was going to identify with and enjoy this film, so I can appreciate that not everyone would enjoy this. Plus, I don't get my panties in a twist about incest, unlike 90% of the population

What Fanny is looking forward to:
EASY A (UK release: Friday 22 October 20100)

This film is currently fake-rocking my world. Have I mentioned how much I freakin LOVE LOVE LOVE Emma "Superbad & Zombieland" Stone and Patricia "High Art & Good Night, and Good Luck" Clarkson? I hope this film stands up to the trailer otherwise 3 months of excitedly wet pants will be for nothin.

SUCKER PUNCH (UK Release: Friday 25 March 2011)

Need I say more?

SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD ((UK Release: Wednesday 25 August 2010)

Oh, Cera. Bring it.

Which films Fanny would like to see get an international release:
STONEWALL UPRISING

Whilst documentaries have been made about this significant event before, none have looked as compelling as this. I'm holding out for next years BFI Gay and Lesbian Film Festival at the least.

DON'T MISS: Agent Lynch at The Brickhouse

2010-08-02T04:18:00.000-07:00

Seriously Boys and Girls, you will kick yourself if you miss this one. Ever since we first met the dazzling Agent Lynch we've been hooked and following her as she's stormed her way through the world of burlesque with innovative and incredibly well styled performances. Her new residency at The Brickhouse looks like the icing on the cake, miss this at your peril.

"It’s been 30 years since Steve Rubell’s Studio 54 closed in New York in 1980 but the spirit of disco lives again at Studio 64 at the Brickhouse for an August residency after a sell out launch night last year, Headed up International burlesque sensation Agent Lynch, Studio 64 will play host to a heady-disco inspired rotating line up of cabaret guest stars including burly-pole sensation Glory Pearl, Hurly Burly star Laurie Hagen, showgirl supreme Kitty Bang Bang, Hula extraordinaire Donald Choi and resident Studio 64 dance troupe the Beaux Belles. This decadent debauchery will be hosted alternately by Dusty Limits as Andy Warhol incarnate, and the acid tongued Queen of Disco herself Myra Dubois and Dolly Rocket."

Picture of the week

2010-08-01T06:10:00.001-07:00

Searching through boxes of vinyl yesterday, we discovered this little gem and promptly fell a little in love. Apparently released in 1963, "How to Strip for your Husband: Music to make Marriage Merrier" does exactly what it says of the cover, pumping out cheesy burlesque tunes for you entertain and delight your husband (note that: Huzzzband, not boyfriend, or sweet jesus, your loverrrr). Sadly, missing from our £3 purchase was the original liner notes written by "Famous Strip-Teaser" (or " ecdysiasts" as they use on the back - a term even Fanny had never heard of before) Ann Corio on how to perform to such brassy, bazzoka shaking tracks. If anyone is in the know, we'd love to get our hands on a copy of the booklet. For reference material, of course.

Interview with a Financial Domme: Goddess Penelope!

2010-07-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

Fanny: What exactly is a Financial Domme? And how on earth did you find out about and become one?

Goddess Penelope: A Financial Domme is generally a Woman who feels that she should be treated as a Goddess, completely adored and spoilt beyond belief and in doing so gains herself a stable of slaves who should treat her accordingly. A friend of Mine who knew that I was into the BDSM scene introduced Me to it (funnily enough it was a male friend too...but not a sub!) and when the gifts/cash started rolling in I was totally hooked!

Robin: Were you seeing your current boyfriend at the time you entered into a career as a full time goddess? If not, how do you break the ice with potential partners about your constant supply of presents from horny desperate men?

Goddess Penelope: My BF is really open minded and we were friends before we were lovers so he knew all about Me being a FinDomme...he thought (and still thinks) its amazing...and its funny as he reaps the benefits too as cucky slaves LOVE buying him gifts too!

Fanny: Apart from your boyfriend, who is favourite hottie?

Goddess Penelope: Ooooh (do I only have to choose one?...I’m having 2) James Franco and Jonathan Rhys Myers (wet!)

Fanny: *drools* Is this something you could you do forever?

Goddess Penelope: I totally think so...until I get bored or all the money and shoes in the world disappear! (eeeek!)

Robin: Have you met many other financial dommes? If so is there ever a little competition over who gets the most free stuff from their slaves? Is there a hierarchy of Financial Dommes?

Goddess Penelope: TBH no I haven’t met any...I’ve only ever met Pro Dommes.

Fanny: Are there any particular goddesses that you model yourself upon? The

Hindu Lakshmi? Carrie Bradshaw? Tanya Cheex? Imelda Marcos?

Goddess Penelope:I don’t really model myself on anyone inparticular as I believe in leading not following and just being myself.

Fanny: Spoken like a true goddess. So tell me, what is your earliest memory?

Goddess Penelope: Singing at My cousins birthday party when I was about 3 wearing a pink Michael Jackson t-shirt

Robin: Being a total shoe fetishist for both myself, and of course Fanny's beautiful feet, I'd like to know what your ultimate pair would be, which pair of heels would get one of your slaves in your very best books? Also what was the favourite pair you were bought recently?

Goddess Penelope: I love Natacha Marro shoes and would LOVE more...My faves shoes that I have been bought recently have to be My Feud shoes...I have about 4 pairs now.

Fanny: how much do you know about your slaves? Are they useless City Boys who have nothing better to do than blow their copious amounts of cash on you? Or are they all creeps who live at home with their mum?

Goddess Penelope: My slaves vary...there’s not a single type...they’re all generally sad and pathetic though...unfortunately! (or fortunately!)

Robin: Have you ever found out about any of your slaves having partners, and their reactions to their other halves spoiling you?
Goddess Penelope: No they’re usually snide vindictive little things that can keep secrets!

Fanny: how seriously pathetic are your slaves? Are they always vying for your attention and time and generally annoying the fuck out of you?

Goddess Penelope: Generally YES! But I make it VERY clear that £££££$$$$$ = ATTENTION

Robin: Do you take into account a potential slaves income when they buy you presents? For example is a pair of Louboutin heels from a student slave worth more to you than a pair from a bank manager slave?

Goddess Penelope: I have to be honest...no...I just take, take, take...students don’t really appeal to Me and I don’t appeal to them...they generally say I’m ‘too expensive’ lol

Fanny: What is your guiltiest pleasure?

Goddess Penelope: many to mention! I don’t know where to start!
Fanny: Tell me what Robin would expect if I made him called your Ignore Line?
Goddess Penelope: would answer the call and NOT say a word...most of the time I leave the phone on the side and carry on with whatever I’m doing...the TIE (total ignore experience)

Robin: What's the meanest hoop you've ever made one of your slaves jump through in order to gain you attention? and how, if at all, were they rewarded for doing so?

Goddess Penelope: I’ve done SO many mean humiliating things to slaves...but I generally reward them by allowing them to buy Me more gifts!

Fanny: does being a Financial Domme make it easier for you to be a good girlfriend, as you don't have to pester your boyfriend for present all the time?

Goddess Penelope: think so as I never ask or want anything from Bf...although Birthdays and Christmas is really hard for him as he says ‘what do I buy the woman that has everything?’...he tries really hard to buy unique special gifts...which I adore!

Robin: How much time does it take to be a Financial Domme? Is it a full time job ignoring all those boys and getting all those pedicures?

Goddess Penelope:Yeah it’s quite hard work being spoilt and pampered all the time! It doesn’t take a set amount of time...I have IM on My phone so that I can contact slaves whenever I want to...I’ve found it a lot easier as time has gone by to ‘vet’ good slaves from the bad so that procedure has eliminated ALOT of time wasting.

Fanny: what's the best way you know of to exploit money/presents out of a man?

Goddess Penelope: To work his fetishes against him of course...oh and chastity is ALWAYS a winner!

Robin: Have you ever heard of any male financial dommes?

Goddess Penelope: I’ve seen a few...but they just get laughed off by us females!

Fanny: Have you ever been recognised in public?

Goddess Penelope: Yes...mainly at fetish clubs by people on community sites.

Robin: One of your slaves has just put £1000 in your bank account to impress you, what would you go and get on your shopping spree?

Goddess Penelope: Shoes,clothes make up (how shallow?)

Fanny: How do you relax?

Goddess Penelope: I like to chill with Bf and watch movies!

Robin: I noticed that your wish list that you have both "Venus In Furs", "The Story Of O" and "The Torture Garden" on there. We've read all of these as part of our Erotic Book Club. You should come along!

Goddess Penelope: I would love too!

To spend eternity submitting yourself (and, of course, your money) to the divine Goddess Penelope, visit her website at www.goddesspenelope.com

Picture of the week

2010-07-25T12:52:00.001-07:00

My oh my oh my...... we have been gone an awful long time! Who knew that moving house and setting up a fabulous new boudoir could take up SO MUCH of Robin and Fanny's precious time.

But fear not dear readers, as here we are, back and ready to share many more delightful erotic treats with you. And to begin with, a little picture of the week we discovered on the gorgeously divine Miss Elizabeth Fury's blog. Pay close attention to your studies now, boys and girls!

Picture of the week

2010-06-27T05:34:00.000-07:00

My oh my... how we love the new cover of the Scissor Sisters currently adorning billboards everywhere. How could we not!

Fanny's Guide to the Summer Sales: Part 1

2010-06-25T07:54:00.000-07:00

The sales are coming thick and fast this summer, but don't ruin your heels running around trying to find the best bargains! Fanny is keeping an eye on the hottest items for half price (or close), so make sure you keep an eye out for her updates!

Speaking of heels, let's start with...

SHOES!
Christian Louboutin

Pass Pass 100 python sandals
Was £560 Now £392
from net-a-porter.com

St Jeanne 85 studded pumps
Was £540 Now £270
from net-a-porter.com

Brian Atwood

Wagner rivet suede pumps
Was £1,070 Now £749
from net-a-porter.com

Kurt Geiger

Dawn by Kurt Geiger shoe boot
Was £160 Now £79
from kurtgeiger.com

Geranium by Carvela super high heeled sling back
Was £120 Now £59
from kurtgeiger.com

Blanche by Miss KG open toe court with a sling back buckle fastening
Was £65 Now £49
from kurtgeiger.com

Office

Lotus Hallmark Gogo Lightning Flash banana heel court
Was £125 Now £75
from office.co.uk

Suited and Booted black suede/gold studs shoe boot
Was £95 Now £25-£65 (depending on style)
from office.co.uk

Schuh

Iron Fist Devils Plaything High Heels
Was £49.99 Now £30
from schuh.co.uk

STOCKINGS!
Wolford

Souvenir lace seameed stay-up
Was £48 Now £33.60
from wolfordshop.co.uk

Diamond Tights
Was £29 Now £20.30
from wolfordshop.co.uk

BeBaroque
Saylor stocking bodysuit
Was £99.99 Now £55.00
from bebaroque.co.uk

LINGERIE!
Ell and Cee

Sweet Violet polka dot mesh silk frill set
Low half-cup bra was £67 Now £46.90
Frill knicker was £40 Now £28
from ellandcee.co.uk

Myla
Lola Ruby lace and satin set
Peak-a-boo bra was £79 Now £47
Knicker was £49 Now £29
Open Knicker was £49 Now £29
from myla.com

La Perla

Black Label Cabaret black and white cinema image set
Push up bra was £152 Now £76
Underwire bra was £144 Now £72
G-string was £74 Now £37
Shorts was £118 Now £59
Short nightgown was £298 Now £149
from laperla.com

Made By Niki
Fresh Foundations purple and pink satin set
Push up bra was £69.99 Now £20
Wireless bra was £65.99 Now £20
Panties was £49.99 Now £20
Pin-up panties was £89 Now £29
Girdle was £89 Now £29
Thong was £39.99 Now £15
Garter belt was £49.99 Now £20
from madebyniki.co.uk

Ann Summers
Savannah Animal black and skin animal print set
Balconette bra was £25 Now £12
Brief was £12 Now £6
String was £8 Now £4
Cami suspender was £35 Now £17
Suspender was £14 Now £7
from annsummers.com

LATEX!
Inner Sanctum (hurry as their sale ends June 28th!)
Demonia Catsuit
Was £416.59 Now £299.94
from innersanctumonline.com

Aviator uniform set
Jacket was £231.44 Now £166.64
Skirt was ££92.58 Now £66.66
from innersanctumonline.com

Honour

Nurse's dress
Was £135 Now £95.00
from honour.co.uk

ATTIRE!
Bordelle

High stretch jersey low rise leggings with braces
Was £210 Now £126
from bordelle.co.uk

Miss Angela Cage Dress
Was £395.00 Now £276.50
from coco-de-mer.com

Picture of the week

2010-06-20T07:28:00.000-07:00

Picture of the week this week, comes from Robin's brand new favourite website ever Fuck Yeah Back Shots. As everyone knows the very most erotic part of the female form is that lovely delicate curve at the small of the back just above the bottom. So it was a pleasure to find a website dedicated to the sometimes under appreciated fetish. That and of course hundreds of pictures of delicious booties swallowing tiny knickers! oh my.

After Pandora: Pirates & Showgirls social

2010-06-18T11:23:00.000-07:00

After Pandora is as a friendly members community based in London, which regularly holds socials and parties which focus upon creating a safe, accepting environment for self-expression, creativity and heaps of naughty fun. In order to join this community, potential members are invited to attend one of their regular social events which are held in order to vet potential members for their private events.

What a great venue! This summer soiree was held on the Battersea Barge which is tucked in on the Thames just near the Battersea Power Station, which made it the ideal setting for such an night. Even though it was a typically breezy London in June evening, it was still a marvellous spot and the intimate, cabaret style interior made it ideal for such a party.

As usual, I hadn't read much about what I was going to (I saw the word 'pervy' and 'party' and that was about all I needed) so I just figured this was an event for all the regular members to attend without necessarily any below the belt action happening. You know, a civil affair rather than a sordid one. I hadn't read up that this was an event to vet me as a potential member, so I left Robin tied up at home and bought some lovely lady arm candy with me instead. It was my bad in doing so and probably tainted my initial impression when I climbed aboard the boat only to discover that, even at nearly 9pm, the party was in less than full swing. I am quite sure there is a restriction by the venue owners on the numbers that can attend, and of course the organisers want to ensure that everyone can get a seat during the performances plus they can meet and great all the newbies, so keep the crowd to a minimum was preferable, but it didn't make for a very wow! event. That said, practically everyone in attendance had come dressed in costume and were eager to engage with the proceedings of the evening.

My friend and I were lucky to grab a seat up the front near the ample stage area and I was really pleased that there was a sit down, traditional cabaret style section for the audience. One of my biggest gripes with so many nights with such performances is that you have to stand up, and as a both a former entertainer and a lady of small stature in heels, I am never impressed by such an option. So it was great to be able to plonk ourselves within close proximity to the action. And, my word, was there action! As this was a free event (no cover charge AND reasonable food and drink prices I might add) I am a little more forgiving of the performances which kept swinging from simply outstanding to rather dubious. Of notable mention was the oh-so-watchable and incredibly talented Bryony Kimmings, who kind of stole my friend and my heart that evening. I really encourage anyone who gets the chance to catch one of her performances to rush rush rush to be there. Also a shining star was The Groom, who literally bought the house lights down with his fucking hot Kill Bill burlesque. Original, energetic and so terrifyingly hot, there was a dry pair of pants left in the room. The compere for the evening Jessica Fostekew was also such a pleasure you often would have preferred she stay on stage a bit longer. Female stand-up comedians are such rarities; it makes this one a bit of a treasure. I don't think I could write this review without mentioning the final performance by Katja Saucy-Pants. As a lover of Gurlesque, I am very accustomed to seeing great lengths of tinsel, flags etc being pulled from a woman's nether regions, but perhaps after her rendition of 'Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend" I wasn't really expecting that she had been carrying that much plastic jewellery inside herself all that time.... though it was delightful to see a splodge of joy juice go flying into some guys face at the end.

After the performances, we adjourned back up on deck where I had the delight of finally meeting Miss Kitty Stryker before my friend and decided it was probably worth making the long journey (well long for someone who rarely leaves it) back to East London before we got too drunk.

I'd be very interested in seeing what the actual parties are like. And who knows, I might even let Robin out to play too.

Picture of the week

2010-06-13T05:37:00.000-07:00

Meeeow, a beautiful photograph from Aaron Hawks. It's strangely alluring and proof that you don't have to make porn images black and white for them to be considered art.

Fanny's Film Fucks: June 2010

2010-06-11T06:01:00.000-07:00

Last month Fanny checked out:
Nothing! Warm weather, World Cup and a lack of interesting releases....

What Fanny is looking forward to:
GAY SEX IN THE 70's (Showing at the ICA: 1 - 4, 8 July 2010)

I wish I was looking forward to gay sex in the 70's! This documentary is showing as part of the ICA's Pout 2 season of new queer cinema.

HEARTBREAKER (UK release date: Friday 2nd July 2010)

I love trailers for foreign films where they manage to not say a word so people might not realise hey, this isn't in english! Anyway, Romain Duris (from THE BEAT THAT MY HEART SKIPPED) is totally cute and opposite Vanessa 'practically Mrs Johnny Depp' Paradis, this looks like a possible cheesy rom com that sitauted outside of Hollywood. Could be a win. Did I mention my dad keeps going to see rom com's? Brilliantly, he thought J Lo's new one THE BACK UP PLAN was really good. Enough said.

GAINSBOURG (UK release date: Friday 30 July 2010)

Boy, does Éric Elmosnino look like him or what!

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS (UK release date: Part 1 - Friday 19 November 2010)

Yeah yeah, wotevs. I'm excited.

TRON: LEGACY (Worldwide release date: Friday 17 December 2010)

Man, are Disney pushing for this to be the big Xmas hit or what! It looks dam cyber sexy though....

Which films Fanny would like to see get an international release:
THE EXTRA MAN

Does Kevin Kline's voice sound remarkably like Rob Jeremy's in ANCHOR MAN? This could be funny...

MIDDLE MEN

Crazy yet believable bio pic about the guys that worked out how to build the internet's erotic captial, making it into the fine palace of porn and pounds it is today.

WIN tickets to Club Rub: Oriental & Rope Bondage!

2010-06-06T09:49:00.000-07:00

Break out your kimono and start practising your Shibari, as Please Sir, We Want Some More! in conjunction with Club Rub are delighted to be giving one lucky reader the chance to attend next Saturday's (June 12th) party for free!

One lucky reader will win a pair of tickets to this popular fetish club, which has an Oriental theme incorporating Rope Bondage this month! The night will be held at Hide Out @ Debut Club (formally SeOne), 29 Weston Street, London, SE1 3RR and will feature performances from Beatrix Carlotta and Natalie. See the video below for a behind the scenes look at Club Rub's photo shoots!

TO WIN simply send an email kim@club-rub.com with the following subject line:

I love PSWWSM and I want to win tickets to Club Rub!

Entries close midnight on Thursday 10 June 2010 and the winner will be contacted directly and announced via Twitter next Friday 11 June!

Picture of the week

2010-06-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

A classic, we know, but Fanny has been in raptures for the past couple of days consuming Patti Smith's memoir Just Kids, about her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe. So here we present Man in Polyester Suit. Image courtesy of Artnet.

WIN a copy of Yes, Ma'am!

2010-06-04T03:08:00.000-07:00

In conjunction with the lovely literary types at Clies Press, Please Sir, We Want Some More! are pleased to give away to one very lucky reader a copy of Yes, Ma'am: Erotic Stories of Male Submission!

Edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, this is a tasty collection of erotic stories exploring the deepest desires of men where women have all the control. Check out Robin's review here!

TO WIN all you have to do is Twitter the following line:

I love @PSWWSM and I want to win a copy of Yes, Ma'am!

Winner will be announced via Twitter next Friday 11 June.

Clies PressYes Sir & Yes Ma'am

2010-06-03T10:20:00.000-07:00

The lovely people at Cleis Press recently sent us a couple of copies of their deliciously naughty books to review for our blog. Excitedly one morning Fanny opened a package containing Yes Sir and Yes Ma'm for our consumption. Being avid naughty book readers, and even running London's only Erotic Book Club, we couldn't wait to get stuck into their saucy pages. With fantasies of both male and female submission at the firm hands of latex and leather clad members of the opposite sex, it seemed right up our street. Now it's just going to be a case of fighting over which ideas we get to play out first...

What a wonderful homework assignment we had here. With fantasies of both crawling up to Fanny's leather boots, and also making her shine mine, this was going to be interesting. Both books present a series of stories from both male and female writers ranging from scenes where female submissives masturbate according to email instructions from their masters, through to tales of an OCD tea making man discussing with his Mistress their impending threesome and the delights that await. The stories were short enough to keep your attention and very well written, rising far above generic 'porn' writing. My personal favourites included the above mentioned "Tea For Three" , "Wedding Night" and "Rope Burn" from Yes Ma'm, plus "Lunch" from Yes Sir amongst many others. My favourite part of reading these was on the train to Paris with Fanny, reading them together and teasing each other over which parts we liked whilst people dozed around us. These books definitely start in your head and work their way down, with scenes still replaying in my head when I close my eyes. Oh my Fanny, this could be a rather naughty month ahead of us whilst we work out who's on top. 5 firm full handed slaps on the bottom out of 5.

WE LOVE:In All Her Splendor

2010-06-02T12:00:00.000-07:00

We like big butts and we can not lie, you other bloggers can't deny!

Ladies and Gentlemen it is our pleasure to present In All Her Splendor possibly the greatest collection of boooootay you've ever stumbled across in your life. When the world is bombarding us with images of skinny girls doing their best to impersonate pre-pubescent boys, it is a great relief to find a place where curves are not only celebrated, but pretty much worshipped. We ain't talkin' bout Playboy, 'Cause silicone parts are made for toys!

Check out this onslaught of ladies who really know how to cast a shadow when they are throwing shapes!

Fanny's Film Fucks: May 2010

2010-05-31T07:00:00.000-07:00

Last month Fanny checked out:

IRON MAN 2

Yeah, yeah, yeah > action, arrogance, leather catsuits, all these buttons are hit. If you want it, the film has got it. Most interestingly for me though was the fact that simply by giving Mickey Rourke a Russian accent made him out-sex both Robert Downey Jnr and Sam Rockwell. Not sure what that was about, but it was working for me. Then again, every time he put on his reading glasses, he did look more like a well styled older lesbian, so maybe the clue is there. Storyline wise, it was incredibly patchy and very self-indulgent, feeling more like Jon Favreau (could you have put yourself in anymore scenes?) had $200M to spend hanging out with his friends. Even Scarlett Johansson filing out the catsuit with her one-dimensional character barely saves it. But hey, Robin was grinning ear to ear the whole way through, so who am I to judge?

ROBIN HOOD

I really wanted to hate this film, so the fact that I thought it was ok means most people will like it. It mainly has to do with my serious adversion (to put it nicely) to Russell Crowe. It felt like such a stretch to imagine him as a decent guy, let alone a hot hero. Basically the guy makes me vomit a little into my mouth at the mere thought of him. That aside, you get the feeling the majority of this film was left on the cutting room floor as they tried to squish the storyline together. Cate Blanchett was wasted once again playing... Cate Blanchett. The way Matthew Macfadyen was barely onscreen smacked of the fact that hey, there could be sequel, so we need to set the Sheriff of Nottingham up as the next big baddie. But my word, did they try and sex this storyline up. Surley the scene where we are introduced to Prince John in bed is totally unncessary except for the fact that we get to see Oscar Isaac in all his naked glory. And of course casting a hot guy from Guatemala as the next in line to the English throne only made sense because of that scene, right? Right? Who cares, I now have a new South American actor to fancy. Yay!

SEX AND THE CITY 2

It is of course terrible. Truely marvellously terrible. And I loved loved loved every minute of it. But you know, after all this time I've invested in these characters, how was I not going to? Samantha wins all my wardrobe awards, Charlotte and her comedy faces and hats are getting scarily close to trannie territory, what the fuck is going on with Carrie's hair in nearly every shot and thank god they made Miranda fun again. The opening wedding sequence is painful and doesn't fit the rest of the film (let alone who would believe that Stanford and Anthony *really* get married) and the second act definitely feels like it was written by the Abu Dhabi tourism board, but it does really come together in the end when Samantha, as the emodiment of everything the Middle East hates about Western women, comes into her own as a one woman sex crusaider. And there are of course the now requiste naked ass shots of all the hot guys she fucks sequeezed in for good measure. And if you can get through the kareoke scene and still love them, then count yourself as a true fan.

What Fanny is looking forward to:

CERTIFIED COPY (UK release: Friday 3 September 2010)

The darling of Cannes; the comparisions to Before Sunrise/Sunset are naturally making me enthusiastic.

Which films Fanny would like to see get an international release:

LOVE RANCH

Just watch the trailer. Seriously. Helen Mirren AND Gina Gershon! It has 'Fanny wants' written all over it, so if you are listening E1 Entertainment, send it over here please.

ÇA COMMENCE PAR LA FIN

Too Risque For Cannes? Steamy erotic film with Emmanuelle Béart and her husband Michaël Cohen? YES PLEASE!

ALLELUIA

It hasn't even gone into production yet but I am already salivating with anticipation at the announcement of Fabrice du Welz casting Beatrice Dalle (aka Betty Blue)in his bio pic of 1940s serial killers Martha beck and Raymond Fernandez!

Kinky Salon London: Science Friction

2010-05-30T12:03:00.000-07:00

The second party for London's newest and most exciting performance and play party, Kinky Salon London, was held last night with the theme of Science Friction. The UK extension of a party that has been running in San Francisco for nine years, Kinky Salon promotes itself as a sex-positive environment for people of all genders and sexual identities, and this not-for-profit event was held in a secret decorated East London warehouse. Run by a community of volunteers, entry prices range from £10 for contributors to £30 for high earners / last minute tickets, with the majority of tickets on sale for £20.

I was quite excited about attending this party as the shorthand description generally used to describe it is Shortbus, which is exactly the kind of creative, queer community building environment I had been looking for in London, having found such spaces (albeit nearly a decade ago) in Sydney's (once thriving?) alterna-queer scene.

Upon arriving, I was instantly warmed by both the feeling of overt friendless and organisation, and pleased with the obvious level of effort and humour which had gone into everyone's costumes. As a woman who has bounced around in such play scenes, clubs and parties over many years, I was also impressed and reassured by the code of conduct and PAL system simply because the lack of such things in other spaces are usually my biggest gripes when the fact that I am a big sExhibitionist leads some less discerning men (and occasionally women) to think is an open invitation to touch and harass me. Thus, once inside, I instantly felt at ease / at home.

We'd been less excited about the location of the secret venue when it was revealed but this was simply because we go to a lot of events here and were hoping for something new. It also isn't the safest space to access, its only entrance down a dark East London back street near many council estates, which is even more of an issue when attendees are encouraged to arrive in costume as there is little-to-no changing space. Not surprisingly, we were hassled by a bunch of ASBO youth who seemed to be deliberately loitering nearby, who took a little too much interest in not only Robin's wig and heels but the fact that we were obviously a couple. But, to be fair, we cop this a lot when we go out, so it is definitely nothing to be held against the venue or KSL organisers.

Knowing the venue as we do, I could definitely appreciate how much effort had gone into transforming the space, marking different areas for certain activities, and dressing it for the occasion. Despite my initial reservation, I was quickly convinced that the team had made this into a unique night and it was destined to be a lot of fun. I have no doubt that KSL is run by a savvy and ambitious bunch who know how to pick and shape space and probably have their sites set on growing the event to a bigger venue in good time.

I also liked the fact that entry was strictly between 9 and 10pm, as I am always a sucker for rocking up late in order to catch a party in full swing. You knew by the limited opening time that the party would start as soon as you arrived and the space quickly filled with creatively attired revellers. HOT creatively attired revellers, mind you! There was, in mind, definitely a bevy of well-styled, cute partygoers of all shapes and sizes to make this event worth ones while!

Once the door bitch was off duty and everyone had a few drinks in them, the cabaret finally started. We were instantly enraptured by the lovely Suzanne Portnoy's erotic reading and couldn't help feeling each other up during her warmly sardonic description of fantasy fulfilment gone not quite right. Diva Burlesque and Tricity Vogue were equally a treat and Vix left a good smell of fried synthetic hair in the air. And as the evenings compere, Luke Meredith came pretty close to the standard set by Justin Bond in my high expectations.

Perhaps a little too quickly the entertainment was over but thankfully there was some great party tunes to shake your ass too. While some of the party moved on to the play space at the this point, it was quite nice to see people still bouncing around having fun and socialising. As an East London regular, I probably shouldn't have been quite so surprised by how many people I knew at the party, and it was really lovely when it came to hanging out, having fun and feeling part of a community. But as someone who loves a little anonymity when she *really* enjoys herself in public, it did become a bit of an issue for me when I moved into play space... But then, maybe this lady should just fuck off to San Francisco is she doesn't want to bump into anyone she knows when she is having a grind.

As someone with experience of open horizons, I wasn't used to coming into such a space in a monogamous relationship, so it was a new experience for me. It would have been fun to have somewhere to relax with a drink while watching the beautiful bodies mingle together but to be fair the space limited any couple trying to do so to look like they were queueing for a spot in the throng, so it was very much a get involved or go downstairs environment. But everyone was having so much fun, you couldn't help but want to be part of it.

All in all, I had a very fun evening and have a lot of respect for the aims and efforts of the KSL team. As Robin said to me as we stumbled home, I think we might be very close to finding out perfect party. Hurrah!

I must admit, as much as a perv as I am, I was a little apprehensive at first about going along to Kinky Salon. Not because of any prudishness, but I think I was a little concerned that an English version of Shortbus would rather more resemble a swingers party full of my parents friends rather than anything I would fancy diving into, things always look a bit more glamorous in the movies. As it was it seems 99% of my fears were completely unjustified. Fanny and I for some time have been looking for a club where we really feel we fit in. Torture Garden can often far more resemble a catwalk show than somewhere you feel you can let go, others are incredibly heteronormative, or we're comfortable but surrounded by gay friends with no one to share experiences with. Technically Fanny and I are a heterosexual monogamous couple, but with a cross dressing anarchist tank driver and a strap-on weilding swaggering showgirl, we don't really fit societies roles too well. One of the things I really liked about KSL was the fact that everyone felt welcome and included, there was a great mix of straight and queer kids of all persuasions and perversions, and you really felt safe being yourself amongst it all.

I must admit, at first I thought their whole sets of rules, PAL systems etc was a bit of an over kill, however on reflection, I guess this made a whole load of discussion and boundary setting unnecessary on the night. The only discussion needed was to discuss our boundaries as a couple, which was an interesting and positive relationship building experience.

The night was well structured and, as a party promoter myself, one of the things I really liked was their strict door entrance window from 9-10pm. It meant that as soon as you turned up, you knew that the party would be going, rather than having to wait for the post pub/club crowds to turn up. The only problem was that, as people left there was no-one coming along to replace them, and of course it meant I had to get my fucking false eyelashes to stay in place several hours quicker than normal. The evening started with music, then cabaret and then the dance floor got going (Fanny's flooding of their playlist with booty tracks certainly helped with this part). Once the show was over then the upstairs play area opened up, and the party really started. Peeking in, the mass of hot bodies writhing on the giant bed was a beautiful sight to behold. Alas dear readers rule number 6 "what happens at KS stays at KS" prevents me from telling you about all of the wonderful experiences I had and sights that I saw (you'll just have to attend yourself one day). Slipping in and out of the play area, made me realise however that perhaps the cabaret, or at least DJ's could have had more focus post "game on" announcement. It did feel a bit like the whole focus of the party suddenly shifted, with the door people, DJ's and everyone else running off to have fun rather than keeping the dance floor rocking too. If you need a playtime DJ, then Fistly (our collective DJ name) is available for booking ;-)

As for the clientel, Oh My God, I was not disappointed. More creativity and desire than you can shake a stick at. The crowd is mostly very young for fetish circles (20's & 30's) and very mixed. There were some amazingly funny and saucy outfits, hello Darth Vader and Princess Leia, plus some obscenely hot ones, latex leggings furry tail butt plug girl you stole our heart. Everyone had made an effort, and it made the whole party feel that much more special.

We'll definitely be back at Kinky Salon, it struck a great balance between an East London arty dress up night, a fetish club and finally as swingers night where couples were welcome. Just crank up the volume a bit more and try not to play the Glee theme tune when I'm mood setting in my mind and battling with the brewers next time, eek!

Picture of the week

2010-05-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

This week, a find by Fanny from malesubmissionart.com after her attempt to write some tentacle porn for this month's Erotic Book Club!

Picture of the week

2010-05-24T04:07:00.001-07:00

A rather bizarre, yet incredibly hot one this week. Found on ArtOrPorn a fun, saucy little blog with all manner of great photos. Ok some are a little more cheesy than others, but compared to the vast majority of sites out there it's a goldmine of hot photography.

Erotic Book Club Writing our own stories

2010-05-21T10:14:00.001-07:00

Writing our own erotic stories month!

To celebrate our first anniversary, the next London Erotic Book Club is going to be a little different from the others. This month we'll be putting the novels to one side and using all those naughty ideas we've been brewing to put pen to paper ourselves! Yes the May 27th Erotic Book Club will be a sampler of each of our own erotic stories.

We're asking you our book clubbers to type up an erotic story of your own and bring it along to the club. It can be fictional, it can be real, it could be fan fiction or even something more obscure. All we ask is that it's no longer than 1500 words.

There's no need to be shy, and we certainly don't want to scare anyone off. So on the night alongside people reading out there stories there will be an anonymous box and guest readers to read them too.

Meet us at 8pm Donlon Books on Thu May 27th, click here for more info

CHECK OUT: Club Rub's Box Of Delights

2010-05-21T03:19:00.000-07:00

The Lovely Kim from Club Rub recently sent us a link to this lovely new movie they've shot. Giving a behind the scenes look at all of the fantastic photoshoots they do for their flyers. If you've ever wandered into a London latex shop (and believe me, we've been in a few) you can not help but notice the Club Rub flyers standing out amongst the crowd of others with their sharp photography and styling.

Be sure to check out their latest event Pirates & Wenches this Saturday!

Picture of the week

2010-05-15T07:07:00.000-07:00

Fanny came up with the great idea of Picture Of The Week last night. We figured we spend loads of time zooming around looking at naughty things that it might be a nice way of giving a little peepshow into our surfing habits.

This one has been on Robin's desktop for the last month, and causes us both to giggle every time we see it.

The Erotic Potential Of My Wife

2010-05-12T06:46:00.001-07:00

The story of an OCD collector, who's gradually been shunned from society due to his habits of obsessing over collections of cocktail sticks, campaign badges, labels on melons etc. Hector, our protagonist, is driven to attempted suicide over his out of control hobby to collect things. On the brink of recovery he meets Brigitte, the love of his life and attempts to put all of his past behind him and settle down to a regular life. However watching her wash the windows in their flat one day, causes Hector to have the most erotic moment of his life, soon he's doing everything he can to turn the windows dirty again and re-live the sight of his wife's beautiful legs on the ladder as she washes them. One thing leads to another and before we know it, Hector is caught up in his need to collect moments of her teetering on ladders, as we read about how this affects the couple and their surrounding odd collection of friends and relatives.

I picked up this book after reading a staff choice card on it in Waterstones one day, that, and the fact that it's got a rather lovely pair of well illustrated legs on the cover sold it to me (foot fetishist, me? never!). I really really loved this book, it reads like a script for a Jean-Pierre Jeunet film. Hector's odd obsession over his wife can easily be transferred onto all the little fetishes that we keep amongst our relationships, and the way that they affect our lives. Although tragic at times, this is a love story, a story of understanding fetishes and learning to embrace and celebrate the oddities in each other. This isn't an erotic novel, per se, which is why I've not nominated it for our Erotic Book Club, however for anyone who's a bit sexually wonky, I would highly recommend this read. There are sex scenes, there are tales of nude dinner parties, and indecent exposure in it, however the true eroticism of the book comes from the relationship that Hector and Brigitte have, and how it develops. It's funny, it's a little kinky, it's poignant, it's a little saucy and most of all it's a great read.

DON'T MISS: Marc Quinn at the White Cube

2010-05-10T11:56:00.000-07:00

A gallery with it's windows masked out and signs up saying "This exhibition contains adult sexual imagery, not suitable for children" was always going to perk up our interest, and so it was that one dull Sunday afternoon we slipped through the doors and into Marc Quinn's bizarre world. Showing at the White Cube Gallery in Hoxton Square till 26th June is Marc Quinn's latest solo show. Titled "Allanah, Buck, Catman, Chelsea, Michael, Pamela and Thomas" the show consists of sculptures and paintings all with an overtly sexual/gender theme. Marc came to fame as part of the YBA generation with his blood head cast, he's now turned his human casts to "people who've undergone extreme levels of plastic surgery and transformation".

The first thing that caught our eyes were the bronze casts of porn stars Allanah Starr and Buck Angel both of whom have gone through surgery to swap sexes but keep their genitals in place. Resulting in the bizarre porno they shot where a butch guy with a vagina gets pounded by a curvy girl with a big cock! Oh my. With giant toy like models of Michael Jackson's head, a giant open mouth and a huge sculpture of Thomas Beatie, the worlds first pregnant man, things don't get any less surreal as the exhibition goes on. Upstairs Pammy has been multiplied (blimey that's a lot of silicone) and stands flaunting her tattoo's to the pondering art audience, and outside in the square stand two of the most phallic flower sculptures you've ever seen in your life.

The show's really quite beautiful in a rather odd way, the tattoo's cut deep into the shiny bronze figures look amazing, and the bodies cast and on display are really quite intriguing. Alas though, much to our dismay, with Mr Quinn's art star price tags I don't think there is going to be a lovely sculpture of Allanah and Buck in our front room for some time yet to come.

Fanny's Film Fucks: April 2010

2010-04-29T07:30:00.000-07:00

Hello pervs and welcome to my new monthly post about recent my cinematic viewing pleasures and observations on what has made it through the realm of the censors.

This month Fanny checked out:

I AM LOVE

Operatic is the word everyone is using to describe this film and it truly is: incredibly powerful music, stunningly shot in a way so few films attempt anymore, and wildly dramtic storyline of rich bitches in Milan. I always love how Tilda Swinton sexualises her androgyny and here she is middle aged beauty finally letting her hair down with her sons friend. The sex scenes are beautiful, her son is HOT and the bitchy polished grandma is hillarious. Don't see this film on an empty stomach though, it's an incredibly sensual film, including it's use of food.

WHIP IT

This list basically goes like this: hot tattooed girls, some in tight spandex outfits, beating each other up, on rollerskates, Ellen Page, Drew Barrymore, Eve, and Ari Graynor. There was basically no way I was ever NOT going to like this film. It's fun and flippant andf totally watchable. The underwater sex scene is a little weird - the actors look totally awarkward - but at least it's with a skinny indie boy so it's worth watching. But hello Wilson brother, Andrew, I haven't checked out before! Your family is seriously a bunch a stone foxes.

SAMSON & DELILAH

Ok, so this film is very hard for some people to watch and not one that will have you rushing back for a second viewing. But as an ex-pat I have to say that this is an incredibly important film, one that Australia needed to make and it was done brilliantly. Now that my serious rant is over, I have one main thing to say: Samson (Rowan McNamara) dancing with his top off. You see a bit of it in the trailer but sweet jesus it is a beautiful scene. It's cut with this incredible look of growing desire in Delilah's eyes, which actually struck me as something I don't see that much of in films (ie. a woman observing man and seeing the effect it has upon her).

STREET DANCE 3D (UK release: Friday 21 May 2010)

Predictable Friday night popcorn film it certainly is. If you've seen any other dance films in the last 10 years, it feels totally derivitive of them all. But hey, it does it well, and it's very British in a cheesy Hollywood way, so it does what it sets out to do. From the opening scene I thought I was about to see some 3D bedroom action (only a matter of time till someone does it) but sadly no. In fact, the whole film is very hands off and there aren't many hotties but they did very well at making Charlotte Rampling look like she's still go it going on! (I LOVE Charlotte Rampling)

DATE NIGHT

This film left Robin with a bit of a Tina Fey crush, which I don't mind at all because at least that takes the pressure off me having to look like Demi Moore in Charlie's Angels 2 when I pass 40. Anyway, the film is fun, fast moving and quite a sweet look at a modern married couple trying to keep their relationship fun, and the trouble it gets them into. It's really cast-up on the supporting roles, with Mark Wahlberg running around topless and the dishy James Franco playing it tough. No sex but hey, Tina and Steve kinda look like brother and sister anyway.

THE DISSAPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED (UK release: Friday 30 April 2010)

We all know Gemma Arterton is hot and she is going to be HUGE once Prince of Persia comes out next month, so it's nice to see her in this very small very British film just before she skyrockets away. This thriller is very tightly executed by hot new writer/director J Blakeson, so well indeed you barley notice that it doesn't move beyond one room and three characters for most of the film. Apart from totally scoring with Gemma, it is also wins with the addition of the very pretty Martin Compston (Red Road) who is very convincing as the charming and seductive kidnapper, who... oh god I want to spoil it for you but I won't. Definitely see this.

KICK-ASS

Written by our idea of a yummy-mummy, Jane Goldman, and starring this years ultimate MILF-lover, Aaron Johnson, Kick-Ass is pretty awesome, but the entire film is stolen by Hit Girl (Chloë Moretz), the best pre-pubescent female character since Mathilda in Léon. I actually really liked how unapologetic they made her and how she was dressed not in some overtly sexualised super-hero costume, but in exactly what I would have worn if I were a 12 year-old vigilante. Can the sequel just be about her, because the rest of the storyline paled in comparison. Apart from the sex-scene out the back of the comic book store, where Johnson and his girlfriend (Lyndsy Fonseca) have a spend a good minute of screen time fucking in the sunshine. Apparently there was another sex scene that hit the cutting room floor but might be worth buying the extended cut DVD for.

What Fanny is looking forward to:

SEX AND THE CITY 2 (UK release: Friday 28 May 2010)

No need to explain why but check out the red dress with the spikey shoulders that Samantha is rocking. Oh my, how Fanny needs this in her world!

IRON MAN 2 (UK release: Friday 30 April 2010)

Robert Downey Jnr plus Scarlett Johansson in a leather catsuit, yes please!

COCO CHANEL AND IGOR STRAVINSKY (UK release: TBC)

I was so excited when it was annouced yesterday that Soda Pictures had acquired this film for release in the UK. But hey, I am always a sucker for a bio pic about famous people hooking up. Looks like we should expect lots of style and sex. Hurrah!

SALT (UK release: Friday 20 August 2010)

Angelina Jolie does Bourne. With black hair. I'm not going to kid myself by pretending that I won't watch this.

Which films Fanny would like to see get an international release:

THE RUNAWAYS

Can someone PLEASE pick up the rights to this for UK release! I am in no way a Twilight fan but you've automatically got your market right there.

HAPPINESS RUNS

Cheesy thriller about the implications of growing up with free love. Based on a true story? Ok!

8: THE MORMON PROPOSITION

Interesting documentary about the role that right-wing religious types have in fucking up equal rights.

Our hunt for the perfect thigh high boots Part3: The Finale

2010-04-12T04:30:00.000-07:00

Avid readers of our blog will be aware of our ongoing hunt to find the perfect pair of Thigh High boots, Fanny and I have searched high and low. In our first installment we hit the high street and discovered that Topshop seem to design shoes for anorexic mannequins as opposed to women, in our second installment we cooed over the designer brands and lusted over Agent Provocateurs offerings to the field. However we were still left unsatisfied and wanting more.

To be honest, dear readers, we were left a little saddened, surely somewhere out there in the world of naughty footwear, there would be a pair of boots for Fanny's delicious legs? A pair that were not only HOT, not only classy, but had heels which would stand up to a full evening of trash-bag disco dance floor abuse!

With ebay searches set up, and constant vigilance and research online (Robin rather enjoyed that part) we figured we'd have to wait for the next season's designs to come out before our quest would come to an end.

Then suddenly, almost fatefully it happened. Robin was working late at night, when his ebay email alert popped up on his screen. It seemed almost too good to be true, a pair of boots, in Fanny's size, with the softest leather and sexiest heels we'd seen, not only that but they were up for a fifth of the price they retail at, alas they were in Poland. Not wanting to tip Fanny off too early, Robin kept the boots secret, and checked up from time to time on their progress. No one was bidding on them, surely something was fishy?

A week later and Robin was sitting at his desk again late at night, an ebay alert popped up, the auction was about to end. Clicking back on the listing and still not a sole had bid, however in a fit of Thigh Boot fantasy over rationality, he bit the bullet and clicked bid (for an amount it would be rude to repeat), confirm, click, your bid has been accepted. Oh god, what had he done?

What followed was another week of tense waiting, in the mean time, poor Robin had discovered that the Eastern European seller had only just registered on ebay, had a feedback score of 0 and was no longer answering her messages. Money down the drain, it was all a scam, the usual internet savvy boy had fallen for the oldest trick in the book!

Do not fear however dear readers! It seems the god of footwear was looking down upon these naughty bloggers! Two weeks after they were expected, a full week after Robin had intended to present his surprise a delivery note arrived through his letter box. The boots were here, on collecting the package it still all seemed a little bit like a dream to our foot fetishist eager ebayer, but true enough they were real, they existed and they would now be a part of Robin & Fanny's life.

Why we didn't think of him in the first place we do not know, when searching for the sexiest, the best, the most amazing footwear, there is perhaps only one name we should have been thinking of.

May we present, our perfect Thigh High Boots:

Monsieur Christian Louboutin's black leather Monica Thigh Boots:

The trademark red soles just scream sex, the long soft leather slides up Fanny's milky thighs, the platform adds that extra little kapow! to them. They really are quite devine.

The day after recieving them Fanny sent Robin a message "I'm still can't quite believe I'm allowed to join the club of people who own such lovely shoes". I think that says it all...

Our hunt is finally over.

CB6000Male Chastity Device

2010-04-11T05:07:00.000-07:00

"Be careful what you wish for".... Never have these words had more truth for poor Robin. When we started this blog, we figured it would be a great way, not only to tell the world about the wonderful places we've found, and things we've seen, but also a nice way of scoring some freebies to review from various naughty businesses. Within days of sending our our press release we had received tickets to fetish clubs and even a pile of naughty books, however the arrival of a curious box made the whole experiment a lot more real for us both. The words Chastity Device brings up images of fair maidens locked away in castles whilst their knights in shining armour do battle against dragons. This it seems however is no longer the case. Launched with the CB2000 and following through to the newest CB6000 male chastity has been undergoing somewhat of a renaissance in modern fetish circles. In fact, various fantasy chastity story sites and even tease and denial captioned picture sites have built up into seemingly quite a scene, we even bumped into a poor "cock locked" (as Fanny so charmingly calls it) man at the last Torture Garden that we went to. Robin has a rather submissive streak, and so all it took was a few words from a rather stern looking Fanny, before we were trying out this latest toy. All in the name of research for you our discerning readers...

Oh my, when Fanny uttered the words "I think we should try out that new toy this week" I thought my heart would stop beating. Asking me to ceremonially strip in front of her and then place the device on before she locked it, she looked me deep in the eyes and asked if I was sure I was up to it. I nodded and then 'click' she shut the lock on my cock for a week, eek!

What followed was a week of restless nights (who'd have thought I have SO many nocturnal erections), awkward toilet experiences (keeping the device clean was quite a chore) but mostly a week of utter submissive heaven. Fanny quickly slipped into the role of Mistress Fanny and before long I was making her bed, rubbing her back, licking her boots clean, and even pleasuring her to penis crushing, mind warping, insane frustration causing orgasm.

We did learn that playing games like this is much more intense than a regular evening play session. That when real life gets in the way of kink, stress levels can rise, and that communication is key.

The effects of the device wasn't so much about the physical grip on my cock (although I was always well aware of its presence), but much more about the relationship between us. All it took was a look, a flick of her hair, or a stern word and Fanny could send my hormones rushing.

By day 5 I hit my limit, sitting at work, I suddenly felt like I was coming up on drugs. My cock swelled up to the cruel walls of the device and my head started spinning with the horniest thoughts. My hands were shaking and I honestly couldn't think straight. Fanny however was stern (and loving) as ever "there is no way that device is coming off before the weekend". God I love her.

When she finally did let me out, I had an orgasm like I used to when I was 15. Truly shocking and quite earth moving. It was a great experiment, amazing to see how easily I can be controlled by withholding my release, and I certainly realised by day 5 that it was as much a punishment as a game. I very much enjoyed it, but at the same time, I'm very happy to have my cock back in my control. 5 quivering aching desperately needed releases out of 5.

"Why would any man want to do such a thing to himself???" I thought when we received this 'chastity device' which I promptly renamed as a 'cock lock". I'm a rather open minded little bunny but THIS had never really occurred to me. To be honest, I was pretty concerned at first that placing such restrictions on ones member could cause long term damage (and it is obviously in my best interest for this not to happen), but after a little online research, we were assured that it was all perfectly harmless. Perusing the internet also led me discover the community of people who regularly use such toys in their relationships. So after some deliberations, I suggested or probably more fittingly, requested that we try it out.

It is a pretty interesting experiment to see a man, particularly your own highly virile specimen, practically sans-phallus. I was quite surprised, though, how rather than erasing the sexual pulse of the relationship, it actually magnified it, adding an erotic edge to every part.

I quickly accelerated from a reluctant dom into full princess-mode with Robin encased in this device. My every whim and fancy had to be fulfilled and even the simplest kiss would leave him in a pleading puddle on the floor. After a tentative first day or two, I was relishing the experience of seeing my partner from a different perspective. This is definitely a toy that both parties have to be in the right head-space for, with clear time frames and boundaries set prior to lock down.

Of course, it wasn't long before I too was looking forward to using the key that I carried with me all week. Apart from the obvious ways in which I felt deprived of the repressed appendage, I also missed the person I was in love with in every sense but, oh my, what a delight when they were returned to me!

This was definitely a new experience for me, and one which I now welcome. And, just having it in our toy box, is always such a great threat for a lady of my calibre to have in her leverage. I give the CB6000 5 jingling keys out of 5.

WE LOVE: Rammstein's Box Set

2010-04-03T09:02:00.000-07:00

German Metal Gods Rammstein have been giving it to us hard since their particular brand of screaming noise first hit the streets back in 1994. However with the release of their latest album "Liebe ist fur alle da" (Love is for everyone) they've managed to enable all of their fans to feel the force of Rammstein first hand! The box set, comes not only with the latest album, not only with a set of handcuffs, not only with a bottle of lube, but unbelievably with 6 shiny dildo's cast from the band members cocks! Get your hands on one and live out your fantasies as a rock band's groupie in the privacy of your own bedroom.

The Erotic Book Club Is On The Map!

2010-04-03T05:05:00.001-07:00

We were very excited last night when turning up to London Festival of the Art of Japanese Bondage to discover amongst the flyers at the door a brand new London Fetish Map had been printed! A month or so ago we had submitted a listing to have our Erotic Book Club included in the map, so we eagerly grabbed a copy and scanned through the listings. Lo and behold, as the rather clued up man on the door told us, there we were with a listing in amongst the 'munches and discussion groups' section.

If you want to join our book club check out the website, and come along for a natter. We pick a different title each month, then all get together in a very welcoming and informal atmosphere to discuss the book and let our conversation wander off into all sorts of naughty avenues. This month we are reading "The Story Of O" by Pauline Reage.

Now we just have to work out how to explain to Donlon Books (the book shop that hosts us) that there are a bundle of filthy maps on their way to them for their discerning customers!

WE LOVE:Christian Louboutin Tap Dancing

2010-04-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

We simply adore Monsieur Christian Louboutin, not only does he design the sexiest shoes in the universe, not only has he brought out his own catsuited barbie doll, he's now gone and released a tap-dancing video! Available on fashionair.com the film shows Christian daydreaming in his Parisian workshop, then dreamily taking to the stage on broadway, before drawing up shoes and hot pant rocking dancers to accompany him. We especially love the muted colour scheme, with flashes of his trademark red soles.

Watch the video here, and then join us daydreaming about owning some of his pretty shoes.

Meow Meow at the Soho Theatre March / April 2010

2010-03-29T04:41:00.000-07:00

Caberet singing sensation, Meow Meow, is currently making her London debut with 'Beyond Glamour:The Absinthe Tour' at the Soho Theatre until April 10th 2010. Tickets are just £15. See a preview here or see Meow Meow's website at www.meowmeowrevolution.com


As we arrived and Robin dragged me into the front row at the Soho theatre, I was promptly informed by my beloved that this fine lady apparently crowd surfs, causing me to start looking for the exits. But I shouldn't have been worried, as no one, and darling I mean no one, is safe from the claws of the divine Meow Meow! I doubt there was an audience member left physically or verbally unpummelled by the end of this show. Combining the faded glamour and demanding demeanour of a diva in descent, Meow Meow is infectiously entertaining. Her reportoire is mainly sad songs, delievered in a variety of European languages, adding just a touch of the soviet kitsch to them. But this is not a downbeat evening - as everytime you a drawn into a deep swoon, Meow Meow is only too ready to whisk you out of the beauty of her voice with a moment of high camp humour (my favourite being when an alarm sounded and she stopped midway to take her 'pills' only to continue again as if she hadn't missed a beat). I was only too happy to have sat front centre at this show by the end and wish I could spend many an evening right there, as Meow Meow has captured my heart. She gets 5 little kitty paws out of 5 from this smitten kitten.		Ok, I admit it, I'm a total show pony. Ever since we spent all those family holidays at hotels with 'live entertainment' I've loved making an idiot of myself on stage, so from the first mention of audience interaction and I was hooked. However the Meow Meow show is everything I could have wanted and more, much much more. A high camp decadent diva who's not afraid to laugh at herself, a screaming, drink stealing queen who berates her audience and a beautiful soulful voice which takes you away. I couldn't recommend this enough. Meow Meow manages to combine the strong over the top personality of a starlet along with the delicate warmth of the singer she becomes. "careful, I'm real!" she squeals as she crowd surfs amongst the audience "hey you, hands away, did you get a good look?" as a red faced man attempts to pass her to the next row back. Wonderfully exciting, beautifully poignant and screamingly funny, I'd give Meow Meow 5 encores out of 5!

Pleasure Bound: True Bondage Stories

2010-03-26T05:25:00.000-07:00

Edited by Alison Tyler and published by Cleis Press, 'Pleasure Bound' is 23 true tales of BDSM erotica and is available through The Book Depository and other leading literature websites.

Who say's a leopard can't change it's spots? Ok, so the majority of my fantasies revolve around powerful women in killer heels with smoldering scowling eyes. However the stories of submissive ladies getting off by being tied up, spanked and taken just past their limits in this collection certainly did it for me. This was a wonderful collection of short BDSM stories, which perfectly hit the mark. True it could have been a bit more balanced in terms of which gender was topping which (it felt a bit like the male submissive stories were stuck in at the end to make up numbers) and some stories were much better written than others. But never the less, this was a HOT collection, and I found myself jumping straight into the next story as soon as I'd finished one. Being based on true stories, and written from people who obviously get turned on by these things, it felt like a really warm and loving description of something which can to the outside seem quite scary. I'd probably tie it to the rafters in my ceiling and make it beg for 4 firm slaps out of 5.

Robin's bookshelf is stuffed with collections like these, so it is safe to say I've perused a few and have to admit I'm not usually compelled to read beyond a story or two. However, I found 'Pleasure Bound' quite enjoyable, and was happy to find more than a handfull of stories rather fun, including King of the Road, Yes Master, On The Mend, and Do I Look Like I'm Joking? The appeal for me was definitely in the fact that these were supposedly based on something each writer had experienced. I liked the confessional element it bought to each story - but then maybe that is the good Catholic school girl coming out in me. I also enjoyed how each story betrayed a more intimate look at BDSM relationships than such stories normally do, showing that these were experiences that often occurred in loving, supportive, safe environments. Some may find the variety in the stories pretty limited, as they were mainly about female submissives, but I definitely wasn't complaining. 'Pleasure Bound' gets 3 firm spanks out of 5 from me.

DON'T MISS: Mim Holiday 50% off sale!

2010-03-19T05:41:00.000-07:00

Pretty panties at very pretty prices! Damaris are knocking up to 50% off their Mimi Holiday Aumtum/Winter 09 range. It's the final days of the sale so don't miss out!

We especially love the Belle Amour (pictured) and Monplaisir ranges! And at these prices, we can get them both. YAY!

x

WE LOVE:Lady Gaga & Beyonce - Telephone

2010-03-17T06:20:00.000-07:00

Wow! Gobsmacked doesn't even begin to describe this one. Since Lady Gaga exploded onto the music scene with her ever more elaborate costumes, 'art' performances, genital rumors and crack pot videos the work has been a much brighter and slightly less well hinged place. However I don't think any of us were quite prepared for the 10 minute mini-movie insanity that is her latest output.

Teaming up with 'Single Lady' Beyonce (creator of the hottest dance routine ever), this video has it all. Lesbian prison scenes (god if only prisons like that actually existed), smoking cigarette glasses (yes literally), coke can hair rollers, strip searches and nipple tassles, murder, more murder, a cameo from the Kill Bill Pussy Wagon, the most outrageous product placement EVER, and finally Beyonce with a hot new fringe and squeezed into a tight shiny Atsuko Kudo yellow latex dress!

Lady Gaga, your music might sound like something from a Ukranian Euro-vision Song Contest Entry, you may be a nuts as a mad dog and as out of control as a bag of cats, but you're SMOKING HOT and we LOVE YOU!

The Irrepressibles ‘St Valentine's Day Massacre’ featuring Bourgeois & Maurice and Jonny Woo

2010-02-28T09:52:00.000-08:00

On V-Day, we were lucky enough to score tickets to the sold-out St Valentine's Day Massacre at the Queen Elizabeth Hall. Billing the evening of live performance was the conceptually staged, alurring chamber orchestra ensemble The Irrepressibles (pictured), led by composer Jamie McDermott. In support was an amazing line-up of queer caberet starlets Bourgeois & Maurice and Jonny Woo.


To be very fair, the reason I was gagging to go to this is because I L.O.V.E. Jonny Woo and have been dying to see Bourgeois & Maurice for the longest time. And I wasn't dissapointed. Woo was stunning as ever, strutting before a mesmerised crowd, woo'ing them to drop their PC South Bank Centre snobbery and yell 'faggot' at him at the top of their lungs, as he flicked his waist length wig at them. Bourgeois & Maurice were seriously divine, frolicking in a bizzare and beautiful array of costumes and unrelenting set of adoring tunes.		After a lazy valentines day of opening naughty presents, and not making it far out of the bedroom, it was quite refreshing to doll ourselves up and head out for some fresh air and culture at the South Bank. Fanny had been bigging up both Jonny Woo and Borgeois & Maurice for weeks, so it was finally my chance to see what all the fuss was about. In one word, AMAZING. The only problem with the evening in my mind was that B&M should have been given top billing. The Irrepressibles were atmospheric, beautiful, haunting, and a host of other great adjectives, but Jonny and B&M's wit and lack of any pretension just blew the main act out of the water.

DON'T MISS: Gutterslut2nd Birthday Party

2010-02-24T07:38:00.000-08:00

This Sat 27th February sees GutterSlut's 2nd Birthday Party bash, an event not to be missed! Rhythm Factory in Whitechapel, London host the night with all of the outrageous cross dressed performance dirty rave chaos that you'd expect from the Gutterslut Crew. With appearances from the faboulous Johnny Woo and their resident Miss Crystal Mc the night is set to explode in an orgy of glitter, dirty beats, stiletto heels, loud mouths and big big hair.
Tickets are available for £8 in advance from the wonderful Dalston Superstore, or online at ticketweb.co.uk . After attending their NYE bash, and dancing our sock off whilst big hairy Italians kneeled down and literally begged Robin to let them run off with Fanny, we can safely say this is a night like no other!

Don't say we didn't warn you xxx

WE LOVE:Fetish Kitsch

2010-02-22T11:01:00.001-08:00

We don't know if you can really refer to a latex fetish sex site as cute or adorable, but if any site can qualify as all of these things then www.fetishkitsch.com is it. Amy & Dan let us into their wonderful exploration of the world of latex and bondage, through regular photoshoot and video updates. This isn't some naff over stylised professional site, or a half baked dirty 'amateur porno' it's really quite refreshing. Each shoot comes with a short write up from either Amy or Dan, and you can really sense their excitement in their latest presents for each other, or adventures they've been on. Catsuits bought too small split mid shoot, they bump into security guards when shooting outside, they dribble, they laugh and clearly enjoy themselves. What's most refreshing is that they are a couple who clearly love each other and they exist a world away from the stern faced over photoshopped fashionista styling that often comes with such sites. Please Dan & Amy, we want some more...

DON'T MISS: Butt Magazine's Valentine's Party in NYC

2010-02-11T09:41:00.000-08:00

There are few things in this world that make Fanny wish she was a man more than Butt Magazine. It is truly one of the best. That's why we highly recommend if you do have a cock and are in NYC this weekend, you head along to:

"Join BUTT, bombshell Lorenzo Martone and No. 28-cover-boy Kele Okereke this Sunday in New York to celebrate the new issue with an evening jam-packed with all sorts of amazingness: a lubed-up massage parlor manned by Corey Corey, breathtaking go-go realness, DJs Cesar Padilla and Michael Magnan (and Kele also promised to do some spinning), a super surprise performance by House of Ladosha, and some exciting BUTT give-aways (including calendars and preview copies of the upcoming issue). The party gets started this Sunday, February 14th at 10pm at Club Rush, 579 Avenue of the Americas in New York City. Open bar is from 10pm to 11pm so let’s get tipsy!"

Oh my!

x

EROTIC BOOK CLUB: This month - Girls!

2010-02-11T09:14:00.000-08:00

This month we will be reading Girls by Nic Kelman

"This sure-to-be-controversial first novel is told entirely in the second person by a series of nameless, interchangeable high-level businessmen. All of them share a predilection for young girls, which they describe in pornographic detail. A banker on a business trip to Korea follows the advice of his older boss and orders a hooker from room service. He is shocked by the fact that she is barely out of adolescence, but that seems to fuel his passion, and although he knows he should feel guilty, instead he feels fantastic. A CEO who is vacationing with family friends starts having sex with their teenage daughter; his obsession leads to his own divorce and a lawsuit from his former friends.. Disturbing erotica that is sure to draw requests." Joanne Wilkinson

Join us on the 25th February to discuss it...

For more details see our Erotic Book Club website!

x

Naughty Paris January 2010

2010-02-05T19:46:00.000-08:00

Well, what a weekend! Sailing out of London on the Eurostar on Saturday afternoon, with Fanny perfectly encased in her birthday present of the AP Iona leopard print bodysuit (teamed with a suitably crazy Cadbury's-chocolate-purple satin pencil skirt, meow!) we were soon clinking glasses of Taittinger whilst niblling red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing (Fanny's fave) and secrectly reading our new copy of Yes, Sir together as we made our way to our beloved Paris.

After a little research, mainly discerning how far each one was from Louboutin's store, we had decided upon staying at the Hotel Vieux Saule (in the Marais, but of course) and were delighted to find that the recently refurbished modern rooms (on the 5th floor - make sure you request this!) have white perspex ceilings which, when you adjust the lighting, basically become a mirror above you. Suffice to say, we then spent most of the weekend in our room!

But we did of course saunter out into the streets and were very delighted when we stumbled across a little pocket of naughty shops on the rue de Roi Sicile. Dollhouse is really cute sex shop with jeux des filles! We we're really impressed as it was even more inviting and enticing than our London love, Sh! Great toys, espcially those by Germany notorious Fun Factory, and cute accesories. We will definitely be back for more! Across the road is also L'Homme Invisible, where we were delighted with the array of men's pants, especially those from Gregg Homme, and next door we poked our noses into La Dame 2 Coeurs, which had a few lovely pieces including a set from Italian brand, Luna di Seta.

We must admit, though, our prime motivation was to have a little Louboutin birthday treat session... well, not exactly buying anything, but maybe trying on a pair or two (and by that we mean slipping Fanny's size 6 kittens into them - sadly I don't think they do a Robin size 9) and recording it in our memories for later...

But when we finally made our way out and about - Quelle horreur! - they were closed and there was a sad little Fanny and Robin left staring through the windows like orphans in the snow.

There will always be next time though! And when we do, we definitely want to check out Chantal Thomass and Crazy Horse! Perhaps when it is a little warmer though xxx

Quick! Catch theValentine specials!

2010-02-05T11:40:00.000-08:00

If you haven't thought about V Day yet, here some more special offers to stimulate your imagination!

If you fancy whisking your lover away for a relaxing weekend of pleasure them we mightly suggest the Royal Day Spa in Tunbridge Wells! This place is simply d.i.v.i.n.e, a personal fave and was voted best UK Day Spa 2009! And this Valentines Day, they are offering a couples package for a whole day of delights for only £180!

Prefer something a little rubbery? Libidex are having a whopping 25% off everything online for their Valentines Day sale. Maybe it's time to get her that catsuit you, I mean she, has always wanted...

If you sign up to Made by Niki's VIP email list, they will send you a 10% discount code. Plus, as a Valentine's special, they will send you a free gift box with every Fresh Foundations knicker or thong purchase!

Score a discount from Mint Siren - when ordering before Feb 6th, just put MINTLOVE in the code box before you adding items to your basket.

And check out LouLou Loves You too! Enter 'HAPPYLOUYEAR' at checkout for 25% discount on all orders until February 7th.

Happy shopping! x

Club RubHeaven & Hell Party - Jan 2010

2010-02-02T19:20:00.000-08:00

Club Rub provocatively sauntered into 2010 with a brand new venue in Vauxhall and a launch party entitled Latex Heaven & Leather Hell. After having had lots of fun at their previous East London haunt, we were looking forward to testing out the new club with great anticipation, even if it did mean we could no longer walk (stagger) home. The lovely Kim (Queen of Clubs) had kindly given our blog a boost in her email after we mentioned their new night in one of our don't miss posts. So after a quick shopping trip for new latex goodies in Honour, Fanny squeezed into a latex nun's habit and Robin a lovely pair of shiny hot pants before jumping into a cab and going to sample their delights.
Finally an excuse to steal Robin's nun's habit for an evening! I was very excited by the theme and really pleased at the effort many people had put into their outfits. The new venue gave Club Rub a lot more energy, the crowd was really positive and friendly and having Jason Atomic sketching portraits on the hallway walls was such a treat. By the end of the evening, I was really missing having the dark corners that the old venue used to have - bright lights and no music in the seating area didn't give you much privacy - and even the play area felt like it was more of an after thought than an attraction, but this could have been because the space was so packed! The turn out was really mixed and rather fabulous and it was nice to be in the Vauxhall ghetto - right where a club like this should be! Can't wait to see what the future parties will be like here once the Rub settles in. Undoubtedly 4 out of 5 Hail Mary's from Sister Fanny.		Wow, the new Lightbox venue certainly lives up to it's name with a cavernous main dance room covered in LED's, lasers shining and glowing like a 90's rave on acid. After slipping through the cloak room and heaving crowds into the club it took us both a little while to find it, through the chill out room and a performance/play/photography space, both of which could have perhaps benefitted with a little background music to set the scene. The crowd was super friendly and Fanny and I both benefited from an incredibly eager man who was polishing up everyone's rubber with gusto, oh my! Through in the dancefloor the beats were flowing with two podiums and a mixture of straight & gay couples, naked fiercely pumping men (jesus how much viagra did you take) and disco kids shaking their thang. We danced our socks off to the electro for ages and then rushed back when the electro stopped and Run DMC popped up their heads for a moment. On the whole the club was a wonderful night, friendly, welcoming and incredibly shiny. I'd give it 4 gloops of lovely latex shine out of 5.

WE LOVE: Dior Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2010!

2010-02-02T10:21:00.000-08:00

So, having more than just a little pony club fetish, we couldn't help but be rather excited by the landed gentry look being trotted down the catwalk by John Galliano for Dior at Paris' Haute Couture week. Tailored jackets, veiled tophats, riding skirts and crops - oh my! But what we really want to know, is how high do those boots go, because we are practically on our knees begging for a pair at even a potential knee-length....

For more swoon worthy equestrian photos see the lovely Jezebel.

Spoil your lover this Valentines Day!

2010-02-01T09:30:00.000-08:00

Here at Please Sir headquarters, we say forget the roses and find yourself a nice big shiny padlock this February 14th! Lock you and your lover in for a Sunday of some real desire-fuelled fun, and maybe spoil them with one of these lovely treats.....

Does anything whisper j'taime in your lady loves ear quite like pretty red underwear? We think not. And that makes Agent Provocateur's Minnie set by far the best buy for V Day 2010. Oh my, how we love this spotty set!

Or perhaps for girls who like something a little less traditional, there is Kiki De Montparnasse's Seductive Cotton Tank. We think you could have a lot of fun in this little number in and out of the bedroom.

For the guys, we couldn't help but be intrigued by Gregg Homme's Chopper briefs when we spied them in Paris over the weekend... Now that could really give him a surprise on Feb 14th when you whip these babies out!

Or if your boy prefers something a little less revealing, we think Slick It Up's leather look trooper outfit Dirk. Undoubtedly set to make your submissive panties more than just a little squishy!

Or perhaps one for the true romantics, Bordello London have this stunning leather cape from Keira in store and we think it is totally swoon-worthy!

For something to play with on V Day, we suggest perhaps Coco De Mer's rather exciting Obsidian Horse Dildo.....

Or get in early with 2 tickets to Torture Garden's Valentine's Day Ball on Feb 13th, and wake up together the next morning, two very smitten little love bunnies!

If you are shopping around, score a discount from Mint Siren - when ordering before Feb 6th, just put MINTLOVE in the code box before you adding items to your basket.

And check out LouLou Loves You too! Enter 'HAPPYLOUYEAR' at checkout for 25% discount on all orders until February 7th.

If you happen to be without someone to tie up this Valentines, then we highly suggest you pop along to Bordello London on the 13th for their singles cocktail classes (click on above flyer for details).

DON'T MISS:Club Rub This Saturday

2010-01-19T03:32:00.000-08:00

This Saturday 23rd Jan is the first Club Rub of 2010 with a Heaven & Hell themed event at a brand new venue in Vauxhall. As a club we can wholeheartedly recommend it, after having been along to several of their nights before. The last of which saw us both spending all our money and having to stagger home in 6 inch heels, flashing gold hotpants at taxi drivers as the sun was beginning to rise seemed like a great idea at the time. That however is another story...

Don't have anyone to go along with? Why not try out their new fetish speed dating service where they will try to match you up with an equally debauched and open minded partner in crime.

Now we just have to fight over who gets to wear which of the lovely shiny things we own.

COMING SOON: Naughty Paris!

2010-01-18T15:01:00.000-08:00

It's Fanny's birthday at the end of the month and we thought what a better way to celebrate than with a weekend away in Paris! A city full of so many exciting possibilities.... We are compiling a wishlist for this sexy city right now, and definitely won't miss out on picking up our copy of Arthur de Pins "Peches Mignons" 2010 calendar! Perhaps we even let Heather Stimmler-Hall's definitive book on the subject be our guide? Either way, stay tuned lovelies as we will report back every little treasure we find!

Bisous!

WE LOVE: La Senza

2010-01-07T13:51:00.001-08:00

Well hello La Senza, my what a pleasant surprise! For many years, perhaps wrongly, we'd grouped you in the Ann Summers world of cheap lingerie. So it was a lovely shock to come across a selection of your latest pieces in the sales and to see quite how nice they are.

First of all the Sailor Girl Babydoll caught our eye leading us into the delicious selection of dress up sets, including the classy styled Bunny Girl. From there it was a short step to discover this lovely blue polka dot set and this cute animal body. It must be said, how refreshing it is to find a brand at the more inexpensive end of the lingerie spectrum who make products which don't look cheap. Let's hope the competition rise to the challenge!

Coming Soon: Immodesty Blaize PresentsBurlesque Undressed

2010-01-07T13:13:00.001-08:00

Curvier than a circle and with enough energy to power the national grid, Miss Immodesty Blaize has been sashaying her hips across the UK burlesque scene for some time now, whilst picking up a loyal fan base in the process. So here at Please Sir towers, we were very pleased to hear of her upcoming movie, due to be released at the end of January. Billed as a back stage pass to the hedonistic world of the burlesque revival, "The UK's Premiere Burlesque Starlet" seems like the obvious choice to introduce the scene to eager cinema goers.

"BURLESQUE UNDRESSED is a lavish and dazzling journey right into the heart of the art-form, featuring a compelling mix of live performance, interviews from burlesque stars past and present, captivating music and all-round show-stopping entertainment."

Details at the moment are scarce, we've yet to see a trailer or even stills from the movie, so you'll have to hold your breath and we hope to report back soon once we've had a chance to catch a viewing.

GO SEE: The Hoerengracht at the National Gallery

2009-12-29T11:27:00.000-08:00

Currently nestled between depiction's of weeping virgins and divinely naked Greek goddesses, London's National Gallery is currently exhibiting something a little different. Ed and Nancy Kienholz's installation drops you into the streets of 80's era Amsterdam - or more specifically it's notorious red light district - and quickly shifts you from viewer to voyeur. We highly recommend you check this one out. In the NG's Sunley Room until 21st February 2010.

WE LOVE: Louboutin Cat Burglar Barbie

2009-12-21T06:52:00.001-08:00

Oh My God, He's done it again. Christian Louboutin, creator of possibly the sexiest shoes on earth has teamed up with Barbie to create the ultimate gift for the person that has everything. We present the Christian Louboutin cat burglar Barbie!

The 12" diva comes complete with a shiny black catsuit and 4 pairs of mini Louboutin heels! Each pair comes with a mini box and shoe bag. Priced at £100 it's probably not one for the kids to play with, but a perfect Objet D'Art for any boudoir x

Coco de Mer opens in New York!

2009-12-11T04:34:00.001-08:00

There are few stores we love more than CoCo de Mer - and few cities we love more than New York! So it is rather fitting that CCdM has finally opened it's first east coast boutique, just in time for Christmas.

So if slapping a well attired bottom would warm your festive season up, then we suggest you get down to the new Nolita-central store and check out their very wearable wares and ethical accessories.

236 Elizabeth Street (btw Houston & Prince)
New York
NY 10012

Tel. +1 212 966 9069

Naughty gifts for Christmas Under £100!

2009-12-08T13:20:00.000-08:00

So we have been rather busy over the last month, trying to find each other delightfully naughty (but tasteful, of course) seasonal gifts, and thought we should share the spoils with you! So here's our cheap, and a little dirty, stocking fillers for your lover (and maybe, just a treat for you).

Arthur de Pins "Peches Mignons" 2010 calendar

12 months of these these wonderfully ripe rumped ladies? Oh yes please. Arthur de Pins' drawings always make us giggle.

History of German Porn: Gretchen Kraut Collection

A pretty collection of vintage German erotic photography. Sadly sans lederhosen and Schnitzel.

Rufskin Scout denim pants

Well, who wants Y-fronts for Xmas anyway?

Lou Lou Loves You panties

Not only as this silky cutie wonders handmade by a hot curvy lady, but they actually fit your whole bum! No matter round it may be.... And make it look rather edible at that!

Tom of Finland Eau de Parfum

Something tells us this smells like a well worn leather thong. And of course, we like that.

Agent Provocateur paddle

Cute bottom sadly not included.

"Hotel des Doux Plaisirs" dessert plates

We don't really suggest you stuff these in a stocking... but they may make for a rather interesting Christmas if you serve pudding on them!

Coco de Mer Gold Pleasure/Pain Peg

For the hedonist who already has it all.

And stay tuned for more indulgent gifts of desire later this week! x

Our hunt for the perfect thigh high boots Part 2!

2009-11-27T01:00:00.000-08:00

Our hunt continued for the perfect pair of Thigh High boots this week. As everyone knows, thigh high is the look for this season, and any shoe designer worth their salt is putting out a pair of long leather lovelies. After discovering that the majority of highstreet brands seemed to be designing for shapeless women, we decided to venture into the world of high fashion with a look at Agent Provocateur, Gucci and Prada amongst others.

Alas as could be expected the price tag of most of these boots turned our hunt more into a research mission (for you our discerning readers) as opposed to a shopping trip. With the, up to £1600, price tag came a host of curious design decisions. We can only suppose that if you're spending that much on a pair of boots, you want everyone to be able to tell them apart from the crowd and shrink in awe at your disposable income.

Why dear designers, can no one take the classic thigh boot design and turn it into something classy and sexy? It seems the choice at the moment is mostly between high fashion and high price tag, or back to the trashbag world of PVC street walkers for £50. We want an erotic tailored pair of boots made for a woman, fit in the bedroom as much as out for a night of fun.

....~\/~....

Firstly, we spied a pair at L.K Bennett, which Fanny wasn't, as a brand, that excited by as they always seemed a little 'mumsy' to her. However, their "Dillon" over the knee boots did look like they could hit the mark so we gave them a whirl.

These were rather nice and well cut with a zipper all the way up the inner leg. The seam around the ankle did give them an extended ankle boot look, but they did practically zip nearly all the way up on Fanny, so to their credit, with a little wear, they would have stretched to a comfortable fit. However, these were really just over-the-knee rather than thigh boots so they could have done with an extra inch or two on the top. They also looked, well, average, which with their £500 price tag, you would prefer to feel a bit chic rather than high-street.

....~\/~....

Of course, we were rather excited when Agent Provocateur released thigh boots with their most recent range and were in a bit of rush to try them on. So much so, that we were the first in the particular store to do so (even beating a certain Miss Winehouse, who was perusing the new collection with her entourage at the same time).

These were, as expected, rather great. The heel was sexy for a fuller style, and even though they were as cut as if they were a built up pair of high heels (a trend we aren't a fan of) they still were rather fetching. The split at the top meant they would have encased Fanny's thigh immediately, if not after a little wear, but alas we never got the chance to get the ankle to side zip done up. A little above average in the calf department (15-16 inches), there wasn't that much of a chance that they would ever fit. But, with a nearly £800 price tag, I think our bank accounts were grateful.

....~\/~....

Others we spied were the Azzedine Alaia's which look sweet in their press pic, but whose square toe, heel and ankle seem didn't melt our butter

Prada's were nice but Robin definitely wasn't a fan of the heel

And the Gucci ones, which appeared at the top of Part 1, were probably the most worthy high-end attempt for the season, but you know, we'll keep dreaming.

....~\/~....

Well well, who thought this would be quite so difficult? What do you suppose we should do? Give up? Keep hunting? Hmmmm.... perhaps you should give us your recommendations dear readers x

WE LOVE Nine Trailer

2009-11-25T10:29:00.000-08:00

Oh my, So we were at the cinema this week, waiting to watch "An Education" (which incidentally we whole heartedly approved of, let the Oscar nominations flow) when all of a sudden we were assaulted by a barrage of tassles, thigh boots, raunchy dance routines and pelvic thrusts. Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the new trailer for "Nine". Ok so there is not much of a description of the plot, however to be honest we weren't particularly interested, we're sure the film is more focussed on big numbers than intricate plot twists. It contains a plethora of today's starlets and a wardrobe we'd die for. Keep your eyes peeled.

Agent ProvocateurWinter 09 - Mission To Earth II

2009-11-22T09:05:00.000-08:00

Agent Provocateur recently released the next instalment of their Mission to Earth ranges. The Winter collection brings together some delicious new ideas, some re-invention of older styles and even a couple of pairs of boots thrown into the mix. On a recent trip to one of their stores we got a chance to get up close and personal with the goodies and see if the garments lived up to the impressive advertising campaign...
Oh hello AP winter collection. Can I jut have all of you? No really, this is a very Fanny pleasing collection, if you'll pardon the pun. Yes, it's a lot more classic than Autumn's collection, but don't they do it well! Baroness, Black Swan, and Maitre D are delightfully chic, Meteorite and Ponytail are cute twist on vintage styling, but the hands down (legs spread) winner of the season, has to be Minnie! So sweet and well sculpted, I know of few breasts that wouldn't look adorable in this set. Oh yes, this gets a very gushing but truly delighted 5 out of 5 hip swishes from this little fan who can't wait for Christmas! hint hint		The last few collections from AP have left me happy but wanting more from the brand which pretty much set the bar for erotic and not trashy lingerie . This time around I was much more impressed with what they put out. My personal favourite was the Minnie set with it's striking red and white polka dot design. The Venus Fly Trap is a silver re-work of their classic play suits (one of which Miss Fanny owns) and have always been an absolute favourite of mine. As a final cherry on the cake, they've finally made available to the public the Thigh Boots which they've been tantalising the public with in their marketing and march through London (How exactly did I miss that???). My only concern is that their prices seem to be creeping up, especially in a time where most of us are feeling the pinch, I know they are a high end brand, but it would be nice not to have to wait for the sale every year. In summary I give their winter collection 4 nipple nibbles out of 5.

Our hunt for the perfect thigh high boots Part 1!

2009-11-13T16:00:00.000-08:00

Elle Magazine Italy, September 2009

My oh my, thigh boots are everywhere! Since Autumn/Winter 08, pussy pelmet skimming pretties have been appearing and this season is no different. As bootlovers.com has been excitedly blogging, ladies with thigh grabbers of various styles are all over town. So, of course we thought that this would be the ideal time for Fanny & Robin to put on there hunting attire and sniff out the perfect pair of thigh high boots....

....~\/~....

At Topshop, we discovered Britany and Billy which illustrate the two basic options on offer:

Britany is all leather, slightly platformed and comes well over the knee and up the thigh, where as
Billy is made from synthetic polyurethane, little to no platform and comes just over the knee.

Both have an ankle zip on the inner side and a not too scary stiletto heel. Both are very lovely and quite reasonably priced, BUT and this is a rather important but, NEITHER of them fit a woman's thigh. Which kind of defeats the point of them being thigh boots doesn't it?

Of course, by a 'womanly thigh' we mean Fanny's which are a rather lovely creamy pair of curvy size 10-12 pins. Hardly huge by any means. But as Robin kneeled on the Topshop shoe section floor and squeezed Fanny into them, the affect was more like a strapped-ham-slapper-central rather than anything enticing. They created a rather awful pinched thigh effect, like they would cut off the blood circulation within an hour of wear, and thus were quickly discarded. What a shame as the Britany pair were rather pretty, but as we saw in the window display on our way out, Topshop obviously think a woman's thigh isn't much bigger than a skinny arm, as the boots were ridiculously roomy on the mannequin.

....~\/~....

Next up was the lovely Pied a Terre's Rockford boots, which are much pricer but beautifully constructed pair of pretty pretties.

They definitely made their way up Fanny's thigh's without too much tornique effect but without any type of ankle zipper their ease-on-up cut meant they eased back down pretty quickly, giving a rather unflattering baggy ankle look. Again, what a shame.

....~\/~....

Next was Kurt Geiger. Oh how we love KG! But sadly there surprisingly wasn't much on offer apart from their Vamp Black boots with seemingly removable chain decoration.

The seriously killer stilletto heel and dubious decoration made Fanny not that excited about trying them on sadly but at least with their fitted long zip they appeared to be appropriate for the female form they were attempting to encase, so well done KG. Now if only they made a pair with a heel less likely to snap off on a drunken night out, our hunt would be over....

Oh well, stay tuned

WE LOVE Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)

2009-11-11T11:11:00.000-08:00

If you like it then you should have put a ring on it, we like it, we like it! Beyonce's latest video is possibly one of the greatest celebrations of women's curves I've ever seen. Seriously this video is all hips, butts and powerful thighs. The concept is so simple, get three hot women (and these are definitely women, not skinny little bitches) then watch them dance like you've never seen before. Like a cross between a work out and a war dance this video sets the bar for all others. Right up to the finale you are fixated watching the three shake, pump and thrust their way through an amazingly tight routine, and what a finale it is as the camera closes in on Beyonce's face, glowing with sweat and endorphines as she pants for breath and smiles at the camera. Watch it for yourself here.

"Macho Sluts" by Patrick Califia

2009-11-08T21:00:00.000-08:00

Originally published in 1988 by Alyson Books, Patrick Califia's "Macho Sluts" has been re-released in the UK this month by Arsenal Pulp Press. Brimming with sordid tales of gender bender BDSM, the book covers everything from Lesbians being topped by Gay male cops, through to a vampire fetish club blood letting love story, even a little vanilla sex is thrown in for good measure. Setting itself above most porn with very well written and paced stories, Pat takes us on a journey through a world of leather, pleasure, pain and a lot of hot fucking. Accompanying the stories is an essay berating censorship of erotica and timely advice (written as it was in the height of the Aids scare) on safe sex. A must have for anyone's naughty book cabinet.

Wow, what a collection, Jesus Christ, this is not a book you can read on the tube to work (although a friend of mine has tried). The stories depict hot unashamedly filthy deviant tales of sex, but always with a sense of love. The characters indulge in their passions and perversions with gusto, however they are always written with a sense of respect from Califia. My personal favourites included the story of the young girl being given a loving discipline session before being sent off to boarding school and the tale of the Cops mentioned above. In an almost Rolad Dahl way a lot of the stories have a surprising twist at the end which takes me back to the point that this is much better written and much more than just a collection of tales to beat off to. In summary this would get 5 hard canings, a wax drip and a good fisting out of five.

Oh, Saint Pat. How I adore thee. And how important this book has been, that reading it over 20 years after its original release, it still feels like there is space in the market / community / cosmos for such a title to be released. Amusingly, we previously hunted down an old edition prior to re-release to peruse, but it did result in me causing a series of 2nd hand book shop attendants on Charring Cross Rd to blush very hard upon enquiring if they possibly had the title. I love the introduction and how Califia firmly challenges the previously (and still somewhat) very guarded lesbian community to be more open and fluid with their fantasies and play times. And I think Pat was pretty successful as the not only are the subjects but the style a total win, making this a very entertaining read. I undoubtedly give it the full 5 Fanny fingers of fun.

Men's Underwear A Rant

2009-11-08T11:21:00.000-08:00

In this blog, we spend a lot of time cooing over delicious creations for the female form, thigh high boots, corsets, thongs, french knickers, hoisery, killer heels and skimpy baby dolls. However when it comes to male underwear there is a whistle of wind as we watch the tumbleweed roll on past. Why are mens pants sooo, pants?

Scanning through the underwear department of any male clothes shop and the briefs tend to heavily value function over form. Robin is a straight male with a taste for adventure and would love his underwear (when he's not borrowing Fanny's) to match his attitude to life. Alas the only choice seems to be which garish brand logo do you want strapped to the top of your black, white or 'exciting colour' breifs. That is of course unless you count the 'novelty giraffe head' Ann Summers school of male 'sexy time' underwear choices.

This safari has lead Robin to have to venture further afield in his search for something that doesn't make him feel more David Brent than Casanova. The search has lead him venturing into everything from bespoke tailors to gay leather shops.

It turns out a trip to Old Compton Street (central London's gay high street) was as close as he could come to sylish brief nirvana. Gay men seem to have a much bolder and creative approach to their undercarriage decoration than us straight dullards, however even more so than ever here Brand recognition is king. I guess when everyone is producing the same shaped garments (Y front design is y front design) the only thing to make your pants stand out from the crowd is a big logo to let everyone know how much you paid for these bad boys. How depressing.

Don't get us wrong, this isn't a rant calling for further explorations along the lines of Guyliner or Peter Stringfellow thongs (well perhaps it is a little), we're not calling for men to be dressed up in lacy little numbers, just a little more inventiveness and a little less churning out the same old staples.

Here follows a list of some of the shining stars of Gentlemans privates dressers we've found so far:

American Apparel - Ok so their briefs are pretty darn basic, a standard Y-Front, but the range of colours, oh the range of colours is second to none. Plus very importantly they are all sweatshop free ethically produced.

XTG Spanish Brand XTG (eXTreme Game) knock out a range of stylish very well fitted and high quality pants, stripes, patterns and all manner of crazy pictures adorn their designs.

John Galliano - Ok so he is mental, and some of the pants (such as the golden beauties above) elicit the response "your not coming anywhere near me in those fuckers" from Fanny, however top marks for effort.

Aussie Bum - If your going to Sitges beach in Barcelona, you had better make sure you're rocking this seasons Aussie Bum swimmers. A cavaleir design ethic championed by gay men and lusted over by the likes of Robin.

Mundo Unico - Another Spanish brand who are not afraid to push the boundaries. Robin owns a rather natty pair of their swimmers and will soon be invesing in more of their refreshing take on mens underwear.

DON'T MISS Free Torture Garden at the Barbican

2009-10-30T06:29:00.000-07:00

To celebrate Halloween, Torture Garden are holding a FREE night at the barbican centre in London on Wed 4th November from 8pm - 1am. It's being held in association with the Robert Kusmirowski exhibition (Free admission till 12am) and includes:

10 - 1am: Shows & DJs in Clubstage on Level -1, Basement

The Urban Voodoo Machine - Live

The Baron & Missy's Missadventures - Sideshow Freakshow

DJ David TG & Guest: Mash-up Freakshow, Neo Swing, Gypsy Punk, Glamour Trash, Electro Clash

Dark Carnivale Freakshow Visuals

No enforced dresscode, but dress-up and explore your imagination and invade the Barbican! Wear a Mask, Fetish, Halloween, Carvivale, Circus, Burlesque, Cabaret, Masque Ball, Moulin Rouge, Body Art, Medical, Uniform, Surrealism etc (No nudity for this special event - as open to general public)

Free Admission

Barbican Centre

Silk Street

London EC2Y 8DS

As said above, there is no nudity because this is open to the "general public" of course the people dressed up in shiny latex are not the general public are they?

See you there...

DON'T MISS Carnal Knowledge: The Films of Shohei Imamura

2009-10-22T08:06:00.001-07:00

If you a big fan of In The Realm of the Senses, then you probably shouldn't miss the season of Shohei Imamura films showing at the ICA from 23 - 31 October 2009.

Like Oshima, Imamura's films were often quite lurid and erotic spectacles that featured strong female characters and weren't afraid to explore lusty and often taboo sexual themes. And for a director who declared he was interested in "the lower part of the human body and the lower part of the social structure", I think he must be a man after our hearts!

WE LOVE YSL's Parisienne advert featuring Kate Moss

2009-10-18T08:06:00.000-07:00

My oh my, did this put our panties in a twist when we saw such an advert at the cinemas the other night. Rather intoxicatingly hot, and Robin's fingers did grip Fanny's thigh when Ms Moss pulled her heels on at the end. Well done YSL. Let's just hope the scent is equally seductive.

DON'T MISS Saucy highlights of London Film Fest 09

2009-10-09T11:49:00.000-07:00

Can't be bothered thumbing through LFF's lovely yet extensive 2009 guide just to find the sexy bits? Well, we've made it easy for you:

Cracks (UK, 2009)
Eva Green (she of Vesper in Casino Royale fame) playing a lesbian school mistress who may or may not hook up with one of her nubile teen students. Need we say more?

Chloe (USA/Canada, 2009)
Julianne Moore (who is still pretty fucking fit considering it's been 12 years since Boogie Nights) hires eternally nymphette-ish Amanda Seyfried to screw her husband and tell her the tales in Atom "Exotica" Egoyan latest film.

An Education (UK, 2009)
Having just popped her 16 year old cherry to a much older man in the swirl of swinging 60's London, the divine Carey Mulligan, standing at the window smoking in her negligee, utters the soon-to-be immortal line "All that poetry, and all those songs, about something that lasts no time at all". Expect lots of cone shaped bras pointing bosoms of all sizes to the sky and the infectious enthusiasm of a sex life just begun.

Adrift (Vietnam, 2009)
Twisting and turning sexual games in contemporary East Asia, described as "almost a Vietnamese 'Les Liaisons Dangereuses'", as friends fall in and out of each others beds.

Agent ProvocateurAutumn 09 - Mission To Earth

2009-10-06T07:44:00.000-07:00

Agent Provocateurs Autumn range of delicious lingerie recently came out with a bang, with Super hero and Rock Goddess styling it certainly made an impression. Titled "Mission To Earth" it came complete with a graphic novel to promote the range. Bright colours and a wide variety of styles including everything from playsuits to tshirt sets. See it online here.

I love AP, although it is very expensive, they do make lingerie which is much more daring in terms of style than almost anyone else. So it was with great anticipation that I saw they had a new collection coming out. Fanny and I had previously chatted about their worrying use of overly photoshopped very skinny models, however this time, although the styling and photoshop seems to have gone through the roof, at least a few more of the models are women. On first impressions my two personal favourites of the collection were the Bullet & Melody sets (pictured above). However I have to say that compared to the marketing images, the Bullet playsuit in real life looks a bit more Ann Summers than Agent Provocateur, and certainly not worth the £145 price tag (stockings & thong are extra). Melody in real life looks great, the only problem is that the best bits (the ruffle skirts) aren't actually available to buy. All in all the range is generally lovely, but a little to much style over substance. I'd give it two pinches on the buttocks and a teasing wink out of five.

I much prefer the eye-catching marketing of AP's new season compared to some of their recent attempts (did the big hair, awful photoshopping of Sirens give everyone else a massive soft-on?) but it really leaves me wondering what the actual pieces look like... the marketing shots and ones of individual items seem to vary greatly, so I'd be heading instore before I part with my precious Pussy Pounds. A lady wants to have a little confidence in what she is buying. While much of it looks rather exciting, some of the more creative and risqué pieces sadly seem kinda cheap (hello, Hornette!), but maybe that's the look they are going for. The classicist in me l.o.v.e.s the look of Pantheria set and the Kameelion skirt but little else is melting my butter. Perhaps, gone are the days when I would have gladly splashed out on an entire AP range if I had the chance??? I give Mission To Earth two chipped red fingernails out of five.

Torture GardenLondon Fetish Ball 2009

2009-10-04T12:01:00.000-07:00


Last night was the headline event of 2009's London Fetish Weekend, The London Fetish Ball hosted by Torture Garden at Mass in Brixton. Across 4 rooms over 2 floors, there was a variety of dj's and performances, play areas and dance floors, with a very dressed up crowd, as enforced by TG organisers. Running from 10pm till 6am, tickets ranged from £23 to £30 and was attended by about 1,000 fetishists and pleasure-seekers from around the globe.
Summer has been a bit quiet at the TG parties, so it was delightful to be at a packed-out party once more! Last night was a pleasure to attend, with Scottee dj's set of trashy hits setting my well-heeled feet on fire and Esme's delightful 'Meat' performance putting a flutter in my heart. The venue was, as usual, a suitable setting for a party of such size and style, and was thankfully without any of the hitches that apparently spoilt May's Birthday Ball earlier this year, (such as ridiculous drink queues - not that we attended because of the SEone venues distasteful insistence on scanning all attendees ID details into a database). Once again, Allen & the TG team did a marvellous job at hosting one of the world's top fetish parties and ensured we staggered home at dawn, rubbing each others sore toes and giggling about the evenings adventures. Last night gets four lipstick kisses out of five from this very hungover latex lover.		I'd been looking for an excuse to slip into my new shiny nun's habit for a while, so the TG Fetish Ball seemed the perfect opportunity. With Everything from Australian Disco Sailors on the dancefloor to Rubber dominatrixes kicking guys in the balls in the dungeon, this really was a party not to be missed. The music was incredibly danceable and the venue perfect. My one gripe is the 'Fashion Shows' that are often put on as performances, in comparison to some of the actual performers they pale in comparison. The drinks are a little pricey (£6 Spirit & Mixer) but considering the atmosphere and the fact most people are struggling to balance in ridiculous heels, perhaps a hindrance to drinking too much is a great idea. For a club where many people spend far too much time and money perfecting their look before they dare enter, TG remains one of the friendliest and welcoming London club's I've been to. Robin gives this Four very hard spanks on the bottom (sorry about those Fanny).

American Apparel Sheer Luxe Cut Out Tights

2009-10-04T11:09:00.000-07:00

AA have released a new pair of tights - pretty basic in every way except that they have cut the ass out of them! Creating a thong effect, these sheer lovelies are a rather sexy and suggestive twist to traditional tights. At £26 / $28 a pop, they are available in AA stores and online.

To be fair, I'm not a great fan of tights, in fact generally I abhor them. The first view I caught of these ones however was as my blindfold was removed 3 inches from Fanny's bottom. "They are a bit peculiar" she said, "but keep an open mind". At first I wasn't sure what was going on, she was plainly wearing a thong and a pair of stockings, then as my eyes focussed I began to twig. Certainly they beat any other pair of tights I've seen in my life, top marks for novelty and they do frame a bottom quite deliciously. However I have to say, as with all tights, they do have one great downfall (and I'm not talking about an unflattering gusset), you still have to take them off to actually have sex. I'd give them 2 cheeky winks out of 5 with a bonus point for effort.

I'm a big fan of anything that highlights ones ass, even if they are hidden. And thankfully, AA chose a model for these with a fuller bottom (than most fashion models) which highlights how delightful these tights can be when one is presenting a rear view. They are quite sheer, so you wouldn't really be wearing them for warmth mid-winter anyway, so they aren't really designed for practical purposes, and at such a price, if you are anything like me (and a pair of tights only last one or two wears before you fall drunkenly in bushes or snag them on your bicycle) then then are only really designed to be worn in the bedroom. Which isn't anything to complain about I think. These tights get 3 hard spanks out of 5 from me! xxx