The Perverts Guide To Cinema: Cannes 2011

**Disclaimer: this blog has no link to the amazing 2006 documentary but we do adore Slavoj Žižek. Who doesn't?**

This year, Cannes premiered a few saucy titles. Here's the ones you should seek out:

L'APOLLONIDE - SOUVENIRS DE LA MAISON CLOSE (HOUSE OF TOLERANCE)
Dir/scr: Bertrand Bonello. France. 2011. 125mins

The dawn of the 20th century: L'Apollonide, a house of tolerance, is living its last days.
In this closed world, where some men fall in love and others become viciously harmful, the girls share their secrets, their fears, their joys and their pains...

Basically a whole bunch of French tit-tillation, from the the director of The Pornographer (2001), On War (2008), Tiresia (2003), and the 2005 homage to Cindy Sherman.

Set for release in the following territories so far:
France - Haut et Court (21 September 2011)
Australia - Rialto Entertainment
Brazil - Petrini
Former Yugoslavia states - MegaCom Film
Germany - NFP marketing & distribution
Greece - Strada Films
Portugal - Atalanta Filmes
US - Sundance Selects




LA PIEL QUE HABITO (THE SKIN I LIVE IN)
Dir: Pedro Almodovar. Spain. 2011. 116mins

Ever since his wife was burned in a car crash, Dr. Robert Ledgard, an eminent plastic surgeon, has been interested in creating a new skin with which he could have saved her. After twelve years, he manages to cultivate a skin that is a real shield against every assault.

In addition to years of study and experimentation, Robert needed a further three things: no scruples, an accomplice and a human guinea pig. Scruples were never a problem. Marilia, the woman who looked after him from the day he was born, is his most faithful accomplice. And as for the human guinea pig...

An erotic thriller by Almodovar starring Antonio "I was in gay porn before I was famous" Banderas. What's not to love?

Set for release in the following territories so far:
UK - ? (26 August 2011)
Spain - Warner Bros. (2 September 2011)
Russia - ? (15 September 2011)
Germany - ? (20 October 2011)
US - Sony Pictures Classics (18 November 2011)
Canada - Sony Pictures Classics (18 November 2011)
France - Pathé (18 November 2011)
Italy - ? (18 November 2011)
Benelux - A-Film




SLEEPING BEAUTY
Dir/scr: Julia Leigh. Australia. 2011. 101mins

Lucy, a young university student, takes a job as a Sleeping Beauty to fund her studies.

She goes to sleep. She wakes up. And it's as if those hours never existed...

Psycho-sexual drama starring Emily Browning - for those of you who bothered to see SUCKER PUNCH (we did - it sucked) will recognise her impish face - and Rachel Blake from the amazing LANTANA. The young girl accepts work that involves being drugged and allowing old men to do as they wish while she is knocked out. Should be interesting.

Set for release in the following territories so far:

Australia/ N.Z. - Transmission (23 June 2011)

Russia /CIS - Carmen Films (25 August 2011)

US - Sundance Selects

France - Arp

Benelux - WIld Bunch

Greece - Seven Films

Switzerland - Xenix

Baltics - Incognito

Canada - eOne

Israel - Lev Cinemas

UK - Revolver

SKOONHEID (BEAUTY)
Dir/scr: Oliver Hermanus. South Africa/France. 2011. 104mins

Francois lives a skillfully controlled, well managed life, in Bloemfontein, South Africa. Father of two daughters and a devoted husband, he is wholly unprepared when a chance encounter unravels his clean and ordered existence.

23-year-old Christian is the son of a long lost friend. By all accounts he is the personification of a handsome young man in the prime of his life. Francois is so disarmed by the young man that it instantly ignites within him an all consuming infatuation and misplaced lust.

Despite his careful concealed disgust for himself, Francois pours out the lost emotions he has despised all his life in what becomes a desperate attempt at taking from the world that which he has always secretly wanted: Happiness.

Winner of this years Queer Palm award, you get the feeling this story of repressed desire and secret longing doesn't have a happy ending....

---------------
Also see Romanian coming of age drama LOVERBOY, and the opening sequence of French film L’EXERCISE DE L’ETAT (THE MINISTER) with an opening dream sequence in which a naked woman disappears into the mouth of a massive crocodile

And for a bit of trivia, remember the amazing blue opera singing Diva Plavalaguna in the brilliance that was THE FIFTH ELEMENT?
Well, Maïwenn Le Besco who played her just directed and starred in POLISSE, which won the Jury Prize :)

London Sex Worker Film Festival

We were very excited to see this upcoming film festival of sex worker films. Highlights include a documentary about the Hackney Council fight against the strip clubs and sex shops in the area, plus a guide on how to deal with relationships for people who date sex workers.

Could be very interesting indeed.



The First Ever London Sex Worker Film Festival

Featuring discussion, documentaries and films from across the UK and internationally.

Programme Sex worker Film festival 2011
Sunday 12th of June at RIO Cinema, Hackney

From 1.15 til 5.30 pm

Tickets are £9 /£7 concessions,
all funds raised to cover expenses of Sex worker Open University 2011 !

Check out the full programme here

Picture of the week

This week's picture of the week is from a photoshoot the stunning Megan Fox (please god don't let that be a stage name) did for a recent Interview Magazine cover and article. Ticking all the boxes, porcelain skin, jet black bob hair, blood red lips and shiny leather the transformers starlet stole our hearts. See the rest of the shoot, or even watch the video here.

Fanny's Film Fucks: April 2010

Hello pervs and welcome to my new monthly post about recent my cinematic viewing pleasures and observations on what has made it through the realm of the censors.

This month Fanny checked out:

I AM LOVE

Operatic is the word everyone is using to describe this film and it truly is: incredibly powerful music, stunningly shot in a way so few films attempt anymore, and wildly dramtic storyline of rich bitches in Milan. I always love how Tilda Swinton sexualises her androgyny and here she is middle aged beauty finally letting her hair down with her sons friend. The sex scenes are beautiful, her son is HOT and the bitchy polished grandma is hillarious. Don't see this film on an empty stomach though, it's an incredibly sensual film, including it's use of food.


WHIP IT

This list basically goes like this: hot tattooed girls, some in tight spandex outfits, beating each other up, on rollerskates, Ellen Page, Drew Barrymore, Eve, and Ari Graynor. There was basically no way I was ever NOT going to like this film. It's fun and flippant andf totally watchable. The underwater sex scene is a little weird - the actors look totally awarkward - but at least it's with a skinny indie boy so it's worth watching. But hello Wilson brother, Andrew, I haven't checked out before! Your family is seriously a bunch a stone foxes.

SAMSON & DELILAH

Ok, so this film is very hard for some people to watch and not one that will have you rushing back for a second viewing. But as an ex-pat I have to say that this is an incredibly important film, one that Australia needed to make and it was done brilliantly. Now that my serious rant is over, I have one main thing to say: Samson (Rowan McNamara) dancing with his top off. You see a bit of it in the trailer but sweet jesus it is a beautiful scene. It's cut with this incredible look of growing desire in Delilah's eyes, which actually struck me as something I don't see that much of in films (ie. a woman observing man and seeing the effect it has upon her).

STREET DANCE 3D (UK release: Friday 21 May 2010)

Predictable Friday night popcorn film it certainly is. If you've seen any other dance films in the last 10 years, it feels totally derivitive of them all. But hey, it does it well, and it's very British in a cheesy Hollywood way, so it does what it sets out to do. From the opening scene I thought I was about to see some 3D bedroom action (only a matter of time till someone does it) but sadly no. In fact, the whole film is very hands off and there aren't many hotties but they did very well at making Charlotte Rampling look like she's still go it going on! (I LOVE Charlotte Rampling)

DATE NIGHT

This film left Robin with a bit of a Tina Fey crush, which I don't mind at all because at least that takes the pressure off me having to look like Demi Moore in Charlie's Angels 2 when I pass 40. Anyway, the film is fun, fast moving and quite a sweet look at a modern married couple trying to keep their relationship fun, and the trouble it gets them into. It's really cast-up on the supporting roles, with Mark Wahlberg running around topless and the dishy James Franco playing it tough. No sex but hey, Tina and Steve kinda look like brother and sister anyway.

THE DISSAPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED (UK release: Friday 30 April 2010)

We all know Gemma Arterton is hot and she is going to be HUGE once Prince of Persia comes out next month, so it's nice to see her in this very small very British film just before she skyrockets away. This thriller is very tightly executed by hot new writer/director J Blakeson, so well indeed you barley notice that it doesn't move beyond one room and three characters for most of the film. Apart from totally scoring with Gemma, it is also wins with the addition of the very pretty Martin Compston (Red Road) who is very convincing as the charming and seductive kidnapper, who... oh god I want to spoil it for you but I won't. Definitely see this.

KICK-ASS

Written by our idea of a yummy-mummy, Jane Goldman, and starring this years ultimate MILF-lover, Aaron Johnson, Kick-Ass is pretty awesome, but the entire film is stolen by Hit Girl (Chloë Moretz), the best pre-pubescent female character since Mathilda in Léon. I actually really liked how unapologetic they made her and how she was dressed not in some overtly sexualised super-hero costume, but in exactly what I would have worn if I were a 12 year-old vigilante. Can the sequel just be about her, because the rest of the storyline paled in comparison. Apart from the sex-scene out the back of the comic book store, where Johnson and his girlfriend (Lyndsy Fonseca) have a spend a good minute of screen time fucking in the sunshine. Apparently there was another sex scene that hit the cutting room floor but might be worth buying the extended cut DVD for.


What Fanny is looking forward to:

SEX AND THE CITY 2 (UK release: Friday 28 May 2010)

No need to explain why but check out the red dress with the spikey shoulders that Samantha is rocking. Oh my, how Fanny needs this in her world!

IRON MAN 2 (UK release: Friday 30 April 2010)

Robert Downey Jnr plus Scarlett Johansson in a leather catsuit, yes please!

COCO CHANEL AND IGOR STRAVINSKY (UK release: TBC)

I was so excited when it was annouced yesterday that Soda Pictures had acquired this film for release in the UK. But hey, I am always a sucker for a bio pic about famous people hooking up. Looks like we should expect lots of style and sex. Hurrah!

SALT (UK release: Friday 20 August 2010)

Angelina Jolie does Bourne. With black hair. I'm not going to kid myself by pretending that I won't watch this.


Which films Fanny would like to see get an international release:

THE RUNAWAYS

Can someone PLEASE pick up the rights to this for UK release! I am in no way a Twilight fan but you've automatically got your market right there.

HAPPINESS RUNS

Cheesy thriller about the implications of growing up with free love. Based on a true story? Ok!

8: THE MORMON PROPOSITION

Interesting documentary about the role that right-wing religious types have in fucking up equal rights.

WE LOVE Nine Trailer

Oh my, So we were at the cinema this week, waiting to watch "An Education" (which incidentally we whole heartedly approved of, let the Oscar nominations flow) when all of a sudden we were assaulted by a barrage of tassles, thigh boots, raunchy dance routines and pelvic thrusts. Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the new trailer for "Nine". Ok so there is not much of a description of the plot, however to be honest we weren't particularly interested, we're sure the film is more focussed on big numbers than intricate plot twists. It contains a plethora of today's starlets and a wardrobe we'd die for. Keep your eyes peeled.

WE LOVE Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)

If you like it then you should have put a ring on it, we like it, we like it! Beyonce's latest video is possibly one of the greatest celebrations of women's curves I've ever seen. Seriously this video is all hips, butts and powerful thighs. The concept is so simple, get three hot women (and these are definitely women, not skinny little bitches) then watch them dance like you've never seen before. Like a cross between a work out and a war dance this video sets the bar for all others. Right up to the finale you are fixated watching the three shake, pump and thrust their way through an amazingly tight routine, and what a finale it is as the camera closes in on Beyonce's face, glowing with sweat and endorphines as she pants for breath and smiles at the camera. Watch it for yourself here.

DON'T MISS Carnal Knowledge: The Films of Shohei Imamura

If you a big fan of In The Realm of the Senses, then you probably shouldn't miss the season of Shohei Imamura films showing at the ICA from 23 - 31 October 2009.

Like Oshima, Imamura's films were often quite lurid and erotic spectacles that featured strong female characters and weren't afraid to explore lusty and often taboo sexual themes. And for a director who declared he was interested in "the lower part of the human body and the lower part of the social structure", I think he must be a man after our hearts!

DON'T MISS Saucy highlights of London Film Fest 09

Can't be bothered thumbing through LFF's lovely yet extensive 2009 guide just to find the sexy bits? Well, we've made it easy for you:

Cracks (UK, 2009)

Eva Green (she of Vesper in Casino Royale fame) playing a lesbian school mistress who may or may not hook up with one of her nubile teen students. Need we say more?

Chloe (USA/Canada, 2009)

Julianne Moore (who is still pretty fucking fit considering it's been 12 years since Boogie Nights) hires eternally nymphette-ish Amanda Seyfried to screw her husband and tell her the tales in Atom "Exotica" Egoyan latest film.

An Education (UK, 2009)

Having just popped her 16 year old cherry to a much older man in the swirl of swinging 60's London, the divine Carey Mulligan, standing at the window smoking in her negligee, utters the soon-to-be immortal line "All that poetry, and all those songs, about something that lasts no time at all". Expect lots of cone shaped bras pointing bosoms of all sizes to the sky and the infectious enthusiasm of a sex life just begun.

Adrift (Vietnam, 2009)

Twisting and turning sexual games in contemporary East Asia, described as "almost a Vietnamese 'Les Liaisons Dangereuses'", as friends fall in and out of each others beds.