Picture of the week

Fanny has just covered our sofa in luxurious leopard print faux fur. This image from the smoking hot ...shiny, sexy, grubby tumblr, we thought was a perfect illustration of the depravities we hope such a saucy sofa will host.

Agent Lynch'sStudio 64 at the Brickhouse

Running from the 4th - 28th August Agent Lynch takes over the Brickhouse on Brick Lane for her Studio 64 revue. As they say "it’s been 30 years since Steve Rubell’s Studio 54 closed in New York in 1980 but the spirit of disco lives again at Studio 64 at the Brickhouse". Agent Lynch heads up a rotating line up of disco inspired cabaret acts with everything from Pans People style dance acts from the Beaux Belles, to amazing hula hoop skills and even an exploding bra!

Having been a fan of Agent Lynch's since she asked Fanny and I to fire her confetti cannons at a performance she was doing for a film wrap party, to say I was eager to head along and see this show was an understatement. I'd not been in the Brickhouse since it had been used for the annual free range exhibition space so I was also keen to see what they'd done with the place. Fanny and I dressed up in true disco style, her in a hot blue glittery one shoulder onsey and me rocking my best saturday night fever meets scarface coke head look. The venue comprises of three floors, which were each cleverly labelled by the compere as the VIP balcony, the middle class balcony and the flea pit ground floor, by far the best view for the show is in the flea pit, but at least the people staring down from the lofty upper floor felt they had got a good deal. I think the venue would do better though to encourage some people from the balconies down the floor to pack out the atmosphere a little more though.

The amazing Myra Dubois compere extraordinaire came on and warmed up the crowd, which seemed to consist of a lot of burlesque 50's styled hen nights, before the resident Beaux Belles took to the stage with a dance routine. Following this Agent Lynch burst onto the stage with her new Rhinestone indian routine. Honestly it's really nice to see someone who obviously enjoys performing, and smiles all the way through her routines, it makes a change from the cold faced glamour pusses of various other shows we've seen of late. Then wrapping up the first half was the incredible Donald with a tongue in cheek, sailor boy hula hoop routine which sent the crowd wild. I slipped off to the loo in the interval, alas to find it was one with toilet attendants charging you and attempting to spray you with aftershave (damn you coke heads!). The second half included a great comedy pole dance routine from Glory Pearl, a repeat apperance of the Beaux Belles all culminating in Agent Lynch's dramatic return and eventual mirrorballtastic exploding bra! I loved the compere who played the snarling drag diva act to a tee, Donald was my hero and Agent Lynch brought such obvious fun and enthusiasm to the stage that you were caught up and whooping along before you realised it. One thing that did feel a little out of synch for me were the resident Beaux Belles, and purely because they didn't take their clothes off. However as Jermaine Stewart taught us "we don't have to take our clothes off, to have a good time, yeah yeah". To be fair, I didn't expect Donald to suddenly strip either, although that might have been even more impressive if he'd manage to still hula at the same time.

All in all I loved the nights entertainment, and by all accounts from the table next to us the food was delicious too. Go down there, pack the place out and whoop your lungs out. 4 hula hoops and a cheeky wink out of 5.


We trotted in, attired in our disco finest, to the Brickhouse, a slim space which has definitely done its utmost best to be transformed into a 2-story mezzanine, cabaret-style dinning and performance space. Due to the terrifyingly small vaulted stage being only viewable from the top gallery only if you hang over the edge, we opted to stay on the ground floor, where it was mainly seated dinners, and hover by the bar. However, my silver booted heels never got the chance to tire as the dashing waiter quickly came and seated us in a prime viewing spot even though we weren't dining. The ground floor was dominated by two large tables of hens parties, and the next level (with really swish looking large dinning booths) it turned out was full of bucks and birthday parties. The rowdy table of Essex hens next to us did tell us the food was fabulous and it did look rather lovely.

The show in itself was fantastic. Myra Dubois wound the audience up by exchanging abuse with the 'slappers' next to us and generally snarling at anyone within eye shot, but really just hamming it up and proving herself to be a bit of sweetie when she dragged me up onto the stage to admire my outfit and try and pimp me out to any takers but thankfully (for Robin) there was none. It was at that moment I really sympathised with the performers as I realised what a hard sell the crowd was that night as rows of lifeless faces looked back at me. I really started wondering why any of them were actually there apart from obviously thinking they had to 'come to Shoreditch and do something' rather than actually getting into show. And what a show! I mean, come on, when Agent Lynch bounced on stage in her American Indian twist on the classic pop the balloon burlesque show and left with an accidental flash of her muff, what was not to love? Admittedly, Donald the hulla-hooping Kylie-sound-tracked smiley sailor boy did bring the house down with his skill and enthusiasm, and it was great to see Glory Pearl take the pole like a real woman (with a sense of comedy too) and when Ms Lynch came out astride a wooden horse in a mirror-ball bikini, I did get way too excited!

So yes, we loved the evening and would highly recommend making a night of it and going for dinner - but definitely book in advance! Either way though, don't miss this night out. Fanny gives this 3 and half lines of coke of the bar out of 5.

Picture of the week

This week's picture of the week is from a photoshoot the stunning Megan Fox (please god don't let that be a stage name) did for a recent Interview Magazine cover and article. Ticking all the boxes, porcelain skin, jet black bob hair, blood red lips and shiny leather the transformers starlet stole our hearts. See the rest of the shoot, or even watch the video here.

Fanny's Film Fucks: July 2010

Last month Fanny checked out:
Not much. Again. I haven't even seen Inception yet, but considering I only just saw Paranormal Activity (causing Robin and I to have spit-n-shake on the promise that neither of us would hover over the other at 2am), then you get the idea what the fuck kinda film blog this is. Either way, shit weather will return and my ass will be glued to a cinema settee once again.

SOUL BOY

Avoid this film at all cost. Seriously. Appalling.

BEAUTIFUL KATE

This is a pretty terrible trailer for what is a beautiful, sensual and challenging film. Structurally, the script needs a lot of work but I didn't mind the over-use of flashbacks, especially as they were shot in a Diving Bell and Butterfly style. However, I have to say that, being an erotically charged film set in isolated Australia, it was highly likely that I was going to identify with and enjoy this film, so I can appreciate that not everyone would enjoy this. Plus, I don't get my panties in a twist about incest, unlike 90% of the population


What Fanny is looking forward to:
EASY A (UK release: Friday 22 October 20100)

This film is currently fake-rocking my world. Have I mentioned how much I freakin LOVE LOVE LOVE Emma "Superbad & Zombieland" Stone and Patricia "High Art & Good Night, and Good Luck" Clarkson? I hope this film stands up to the trailer otherwise 3 months of excitedly wet pants will be for nothin.

SUCKER PUNCH (UK Release: Friday 25 March 2011)

Need I say more?


SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD ((UK Release: Wednesday 25 August 2010)

Oh, Cera. Bring it.


Which films Fanny would like to see get an international release:
STONEWALL UPRISING

Whilst documentaries have been made about this significant event before, none have looked as compelling as this. I'm holding out for next years BFI Gay and Lesbian Film Festival at the least.

DON'T MISS: Agent Lynch at The Brickhouse

Seriously Boys and Girls, you will kick yourself if you miss this one. Ever since we first met the dazzling Agent Lynch we've been hooked and following her as she's stormed her way through the world of burlesque with innovative and incredibly well styled performances. Her new residency at The Brickhouse looks like the icing on the cake, miss this at your peril.

"It’s been 30 years since Steve Rubell’s Studio 54 closed in New York in 1980 but the spirit of disco lives again at Studio 64 at the Brickhouse for an August residency after a sell out launch night last year, Headed up International burlesque sensation Agent Lynch, Studio 64 will play host to a heady-disco inspired rotating line up of cabaret guest stars including burly-pole sensation Glory Pearl, Hurly Burly star Laurie Hagen, showgirl supreme Kitty Bang Bang, Hula extraordinaire Donald Choi and resident Studio 64 dance troupe the Beaux Belles. This decadent debauchery will be hosted alternately by Dusty Limits as Andy Warhol incarnate, and the acid tongued Queen of Disco herself Myra Dubois and Dolly Rocket."

Picture of the week

Searching through boxes of vinyl yesterday, we discovered this little gem and promptly fell a little in love. Apparently released in 1963, "How to Strip for your Husband: Music to make Marriage Merrier" does exactly what it says of the cover, pumping out cheesy burlesque tunes for you entertain and delight your husband (note that: Huzzzband, not boyfriend, or sweet jesus, your loverrrr). Sadly, missing from our £3 purchase was the original liner notes written by "Famous Strip-Teaser" (or " ecdysiasts" as they use on the back - a term even Fanny had never heard of before) Ann Corio on how to perform to such brassy, bazzoka shaking tracks. If anyone is in the know, we'd love to get our hands on a copy of the booklet. For reference material, of course.

Interview with a Financial Domme: Goddess Penelope!

Fanny: What exactly is a Financial Domme? And how on earth did you find out about and become one?

Goddess Penelope: A Financial Domme is generally a Woman who feels that she should be treated as a Goddess, completely adored and spoilt beyond belief and in doing so gains herself a stable of slaves who should treat her accordingly. A friend of Mine who knew that I was into the BDSM scene introduced Me to it (funnily enough it was a male friend too...but not a sub!) and when the gifts/cash started rolling in I was totally hooked!

Robin: Were you seeing your current boyfriend at the time you entered into a career as a full time goddess? If not, how do you break the ice with potential partners about your constant supply of presents from horny desperate men?

Goddess Penelope: My BF is really open minded and we were friends before we were lovers so he knew all about Me being a FinDomme...he thought (and still thinks) its amazing...and its funny as he reaps the benefits too as cucky slaves LOVE buying him gifts too!

Fanny: Apart from your boyfriend, who is favourite hottie?

Goddess Penelope: Ooooh (do I only have to choose one?...I’m having 2) James Franco and Jonathan Rhys Myers (wet!)

Fanny: *drools* Is this something you could you do forever?

Goddess Penelope: I totally think so...until I get bored or all the money and shoes in the world disappear! (eeeek!)

Robin: Have you met many other financial dommes? If so is there ever a little competition over who gets the most free stuff from their slaves? Is there a hierarchy of Financial Dommes?

Goddess Penelope: TBH no I haven’t met any...I’ve only ever met Pro Dommes.

Fanny: Are there any particular goddesses that you model yourself upon? The

Hindu Lakshmi? Carrie Bradshaw? Tanya Cheex? Imelda Marcos?

Goddess Penelope:I don’t really model myself on anyone inparticular as I believe in leading not following and just being myself.

Fanny: Spoken like a true goddess. So tell me, what is your earliest memory?

Goddess Penelope: Singing at My cousins birthday party when I was about 3 wearing a pink Michael Jackson t-shirt

Robin: Being a total shoe fetishist for both myself, and of course Fanny's beautiful feet, I'd like to know what your ultimate pair would be, which pair of heels would get one of your slaves in your very best books? Also what was the favourite pair you were bought recently?

Goddess Penelope: I love Natacha Marro shoes and would LOVE more...My faves shoes that I have been bought recently have to be My Feud shoes...I have about 4 pairs now.

Fanny: how much do you know about your slaves? Are they useless City Boys who have nothing better to do than blow their copious amounts of cash on you? Or are they all creeps who live at home with their mum?

Goddess Penelope: My slaves vary...there’s not a single type...they’re all generally sad and pathetic though...unfortunately! (or fortunately!)

Robin: Have you ever found out about any of your slaves having partners, and their reactions to their other halves spoiling you?

Goddess Penelope: No they’re usually snide vindictive little things that can keep secrets!

Fanny: how seriously pathetic are your slaves? Are they always vying for your attention and time and generally annoying the fuck out of you?

Goddess Penelope: Generally YES! But I make it VERY clear that £££££$$$$$ = ATTENTION

Robin: Do you take into account a potential slaves income when they buy you presents? For example is a pair of Louboutin heels from a student slave worth more to you than a pair from a bank manager slave?

Goddess Penelope: I have to be honest...no...I just take, take, take...students don’t really appeal to Me and I don’t appeal to them...they generally say I’m ‘too expensive’ lol

Fanny: What is your guiltiest pleasure?

Goddess Penelope: many to mention! I don’t know where to start!

Fanny: Tell me what Robin would expect if I made him called your Ignore Line?

Goddess Penelope: would answer the call and NOT say a word...most of the time I leave the phone on the side and carry on with whatever I’m doing...the TIE (total ignore experience)

Robin: What's the meanest hoop you've ever made one of your slaves jump through in order to gain you attention? and how, if at all, were they rewarded for doing so?

Goddess Penelope: I’ve done SO many mean humiliating things to slaves...but I generally reward them by allowing them to buy Me more gifts!

Fanny: does being a Financial Domme make it easier for you to be a good girlfriend, as you don't have to pester your boyfriend for present all the time?

Goddess Penelope: think so as I never ask or want anything from Bf...although Birthdays and Christmas is really hard for him as he says ‘what do I buy the woman that has everything?’...he tries really hard to buy unique special gifts...which I adore!

Robin: How much time does it take to be a Financial Domme? Is it a full time job ignoring all those boys and getting all those pedicures?

Goddess Penelope:Yeah it’s quite hard work being spoilt and pampered all the time! It doesn’t take a set amount of time...I have IM on My phone so that I can contact slaves whenever I want to...I’ve found it a lot easier as time has gone by to ‘vet’ good slaves from the bad so that procedure has eliminated ALOT of time wasting.

Fanny: what's the best way you know of to exploit money/presents out of a man?

Goddess Penelope: To work his fetishes against him of course...oh and chastity is ALWAYS a winner!

Robin: Have you ever heard of any male financial dommes?

Goddess Penelope: I’ve seen a few...but they just get laughed off by us females!

Fanny: Have you ever been recognised in public?

Goddess Penelope: Yes...mainly at fetish clubs by people on community sites.

Robin: One of your slaves has just put £1000 in your bank account to impress you, what would you go and get on your shopping spree?

Goddess Penelope: Shoes,clothes make up (how shallow?)

Fanny: How do you relax?

Goddess Penelope: I like to chill with Bf and watch movies!

Robin: I noticed that your wish list that you have both "Venus In Furs", "The Story Of O" and "The Torture Garden" on there. We've read all of these as part of our Erotic Book Club. You should come along!

Goddess Penelope: I would love too!

To spend eternity submitting yourself (and, of course, your money) to the divine Goddess Penelope, visit her website at www.goddesspenelope.com