Monday 31 May 2010

Fanny's Film Fucks: May 2010

Last month Fanny checked out:

IRON MAN 2

Yeah, yeah, yeah > action, arrogance, leather catsuits, all these buttons are hit. If you want it, the film has got it. Most interestingly for me though was the fact that simply by giving Mickey Rourke a Russian accent made him out-sex both Robert Downey Jnr and Sam Rockwell. Not sure what that was about, but it was working for me. Then again, every time he put on his reading glasses, he did look more like a well styled older lesbian, so maybe the clue is there. Storyline wise, it was incredibly patchy and very self-indulgent, feeling more like Jon Favreau (could you have put yourself in anymore scenes?) had $200M to spend hanging out with his friends. Even Scarlett Johansson filing out the catsuit with her one-dimensional character barely saves it. But hey, Robin was grinning ear to ear the whole way through, so who am I to judge?

ROBIN HOOD

I really wanted to hate this film, so the fact that I thought it was ok means most people will like it. It mainly has to do with my serious adversion (to put it nicely) to Russell Crowe. It felt like such a stretch to imagine him as a decent guy, let alone a hot hero. Basically the guy makes me vomit a little into my mouth at the mere thought of him. That aside, you get the feeling the majority of this film was left on the cutting room floor as they tried to squish the storyline together. Cate Blanchett was wasted once again playing... Cate Blanchett. The way Matthew Macfadyen was barely onscreen smacked of the fact that hey, there could be sequel, so we need to set the Sheriff of Nottingham up as the next big baddie. But my word, did they try and sex this storyline up. Surley the scene where we are introduced to Prince John in bed is totally unncessary except for the fact that we get to see Oscar Isaac in all his naked glory. And of course casting a hot guy from Guatemala as the next in line to the English throne only made sense because of that scene, right? Right? Who cares, I now have a new South American actor to fancy. Yay!

SEX AND THE CITY 2

It is of course terrible. Truely marvellously terrible. And I loved loved loved every minute of it. But you know, after all this time I've invested in these characters, how was I not going to? Samantha wins all my wardrobe awards, Charlotte and her comedy faces and hats are getting scarily close to trannie territory, what the fuck is going on with Carrie's hair in nearly every shot and thank god they made Miranda fun again. The opening wedding sequence is painful and doesn't fit the rest of the film (let alone who would believe that Stanford and Anthony *really* get married) and the second act definitely feels like it was written by the Abu Dhabi tourism board, but it does really come together in the end when Samantha, as the emodiment of everything the Middle East hates about Western women, comes into her own as a one woman sex crusaider. And there are of course the now requiste naked ass shots of all the hot guys she fucks sequeezed in for good measure. And if you can get through the kareoke scene and still love them, then count yourself as a true fan.


What Fanny is looking forward to:

CERTIFIED COPY (UK release: Friday 3 September 2010)

The darling of Cannes; the comparisions to Before Sunrise/Sunset are naturally making me enthusiastic.


Which films Fanny would like to see get an international release:

LOVE RANCH

Just watch the trailer. Seriously. Helen Mirren AND Gina Gershon! It has 'Fanny wants' written all over it, so if you are listening E1 Entertainment, send it over here please.

ÇA COMMENCE PAR LA FIN

Too Risque For Cannes? Steamy erotic film with Emmanuelle Béart and her husband Michaël Cohen? YES PLEASE!

ALLELUIA
It hasn't even gone into production yet but I am already salivating with anticipation at the announcement of Fabrice du Welz casting Beatrice Dalle (aka Betty Blue)in his bio pic of 1940s serial killers Martha beck and Raymond Fernandez!

Sunday 30 May 2010

Kinky Salon London: Science Friction



The second party for London's newest and most exciting performance and play party, Kinky Salon London, was held last night with the theme of Science Friction. The UK extension of a party that has been running in San Francisco for nine years, Kinky Salon promotes itself as a sex-positive environment for people of all genders and sexual identities, and this not-for-profit event was held in a secret decorated East London warehouse. Run by a community of volunteers, entry prices range from £10 for contributors to £30 for high earners / last minute tickets, with the majority of tickets on sale for £20.





I was quite excited about attending this party as the shorthand description generally used to describe it is Shortbus, which is exactly the kind of creative, queer community building environment I had been looking for in London, having found such spaces (albeit nearly a decade ago) in Sydney's (once thriving?) alterna-queer scene.

Upon arriving, I was instantly warmed by both the feeling of overt friendless and organisation, and pleased with the obvious level of effort and humour which had gone into everyone's costumes. As a woman who has bounced around in such play scenes, clubs and parties over many years, I was also impressed and reassured by the code of conduct and PAL system simply because the lack of such things in other spaces are usually my biggest gripes when the fact that I am a big sExhibitionist leads some less discerning men (and occasionally women) to think is an open invitation to touch and harass me. Thus, once inside, I instantly felt at ease / at home.

We'd been less excited about the location of the secret venue when it was revealed but this was simply because we go to a lot of events here and were hoping for something new. It also isn't the safest space to access, its only entrance down a dark East London back street near many council estates, which is even more of an issue when attendees are encouraged to arrive in costume as there is little-to-no changing space. Not surprisingly, we were hassled by a bunch of ASBO youth who seemed to be deliberately loitering nearby, who took a little too much interest in not only Robin's wig and heels but the fact that we were obviously a couple. But, to be fair, we cop this a lot when we go out, so it is definitely nothing to be held against the venue or KSL organisers.

Knowing the venue as we do, I could definitely appreciate how much effort had gone into transforming the space, marking different areas for certain activities, and dressing it for the occasion. Despite my initial reservation, I was quickly convinced that the team had made this into a unique night and it was destined to be a lot of fun. I have no doubt that KSL is run by a savvy and ambitious bunch who know how to pick and shape space and probably have their sites set on growing the event to a bigger venue in good time.

I also liked the fact that entry was strictly between 9 and 10pm, as I am always a sucker for rocking up late in order to catch a party in full swing. You knew by the limited opening time that the party would start as soon as you arrived and the space quickly filled with creatively attired revellers. HOT creatively attired revellers, mind you! There was, in mind, definitely a bevy of well-styled, cute partygoers of all shapes and sizes to make this event worth ones while!

Once the door bitch was off duty and everyone had a few drinks in them, the cabaret finally started. We were instantly enraptured by the lovely Suzanne Portnoy's erotic reading and couldn't help feeling each other up during her warmly sardonic description of fantasy fulfilment gone not quite right. Diva Burlesque and Tricity Vogue were equally a treat and Vix left a good smell of fried synthetic hair in the air. And as the evenings compere, Luke Meredith came pretty close to the standard set by Justin Bond in my high expectations.

Perhaps a little too quickly the entertainment was over but thankfully there was some great party tunes to shake your ass too. While some of the party moved on to the play space at the this point, it was quite nice to see people still bouncing around having fun and socialising. As an East London regular, I probably shouldn't have been quite so surprised by how many people I knew at the party, and it was really lovely when it came to hanging out, having fun and feeling part of a community. But as someone who loves a little anonymity when she *really* enjoys herself in public, it did become a bit of an issue for me when I moved into play space... But then, maybe this lady should just fuck off to San Francisco is she doesn't want to bump into anyone she knows when she is having a grind.

As someone with experience of open horizons, I wasn't used to coming into such a space in a monogamous relationship, so it was a new experience for me. It would have been fun to have somewhere to relax with a drink while watching the beautiful bodies mingle together but to be fair the space limited any couple trying to do so to look like they were queueing for a spot in the throng, so it was very much a get involved or go downstairs environment. But everyone was having so much fun, you couldn't help but want to be part of it.

All in all, I had a very fun evening and have a lot of respect for the aims and efforts of the KSL team. As Robin said to me as we stumbled home, I think we might be very close to finding out perfect party. Hurrah!






I must admit, as much as a perv as I am, I was a little apprehensive at first about going along to Kinky Salon. Not because of any prudishness, but I think I was a little concerned that an English version of Shortbus would rather more resemble a swingers party full of my parents friends rather than anything I would fancy diving into, things always look a bit more glamorous in the movies. As it was it seems 99% of my fears were completely unjustified. Fanny and I for some time have been looking for a club where we really feel we fit in. Torture Garden can often far more resemble a catwalk show than somewhere you feel you can let go, others are incredibly heteronormative, or we're comfortable but surrounded by gay friends with no one to share experiences with. Technically Fanny and I are a heterosexual monogamous couple, but with a cross dressing anarchist tank driver and a strap-on weilding swaggering showgirl, we don't really fit societies roles too well. One of the things I really liked about KSL was the fact that everyone felt welcome and included, there was a great mix of straight and queer kids of all persuasions and perversions, and you really felt safe being yourself amongst it all.

I must admit, at first I thought their whole sets of rules, PAL systems etc was a bit of an over kill, however on reflection, I guess this made a whole load of discussion and boundary setting unnecessary on the night. The only discussion needed was to discuss our boundaries as a couple, which was an interesting and positive relationship building experience.

The night was well structured and, as a party promoter myself, one of the things I really liked was their strict door entrance window from 9-10pm. It meant that as soon as you turned up, you knew that the party would be going, rather than having to wait for the post pub/club crowds to turn up. The only problem was that, as people left there was no-one coming along to replace them, and of course it meant I had to get my fucking false eyelashes to stay in place several hours quicker than normal. The evening started with music, then cabaret and then the dance floor got going (Fanny's flooding of their playlist with booty tracks certainly helped with this part). Once the show was over then the upstairs play area opened up, and the party really started. Peeking in, the mass of hot bodies writhing on the giant bed was a beautiful sight to behold. Alas dear readers rule number 6 "what happens at KS stays at KS" prevents me from telling you about all of the wonderful experiences I had and sights that I saw (you'll just have to attend yourself one day). Slipping in and out of the play area, made me realise however that perhaps the cabaret, or at least DJ's could have had more focus post "game on" announcement. It did feel a bit like the whole focus of the party suddenly shifted, with the door people, DJ's and everyone else running off to have fun rather than keeping the dance floor rocking too. If you need a playtime DJ, then Fistly (our collective DJ name) is available for booking ;-)

As for the clientel, Oh My God, I was not disappointed. More creativity and desire than you can shake a stick at. The crowd is mostly very young for fetish circles (20's & 30's) and very mixed. There were some amazingly funny and saucy outfits, hello Darth Vader and Princess Leia, plus some obscenely hot ones, latex leggings furry tail butt plug girl you stole our heart. Everyone had made an effort, and it made the whole party feel that much more special.

We'll definitely be back at Kinky Salon, it struck a great balance between an East London arty dress up night, a fetish club and finally as swingers night where couples were welcome. Just crank up the volume a bit more and try not to play the Glee theme tune when I'm mood setting in my mind and battling with the brewers next time, eek!



Picture of the week

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Monday 24 May 2010

Picture of the week


A rather bizarre, yet incredibly hot one this week. Found on ArtOrPorn a fun, saucy little blog with all manner of great photos. Ok some are a little more cheesy than others, but compared to the vast majority of sites out there it's a goldmine of hot photography.

Friday 21 May 2010

Erotic Book Club
Writing our own stories

Writing our own erotic stories month!

To celebrate our first anniversary, the next London Erotic Book Club is going to be a little different from the others. This month we'll be putting the novels to one side and using all those naughty ideas we've been brewing to put pen to paper ourselves! Yes the May 27th Erotic Book Club will be a sampler of each of our own erotic stories.

We're asking you our book clubbers to type up an erotic story of your own and bring it along to the club. It can be fictional, it can be real, it could be fan fiction or even something more obscure. All we ask is that it's no longer than 1500 words.

There's no need to be shy, and we certainly don't want to scare anyone off. So on the night alongside people reading out there stories there will be an anonymous box and guest readers to read them too.

Meet us at 8pm Donlon Books on Thu May 27th, click here for more info

CHECK OUT: Club Rub's Box Of Delights



The Lovely Kim from Club Rub recently sent us a link to this lovely new movie they've shot. Giving a behind the scenes look at all of the fantastic photoshoots they do for their flyers. If you've ever wandered into a London latex shop (and believe me, we've been in a few) you can not help but notice the Club Rub flyers standing out amongst the crowd of others with their sharp photography and styling.



Be sure to check out their latest event Pirates & Wenches this Saturday!

Saturday 15 May 2010

Picture of the week

Fanny came up with the great idea of Picture Of The Week last night. We figured we spend loads of time zooming around looking at naughty things that it might be a nice way of giving a little peepshow into our surfing habits.

This one has been on Robin's desktop for the last month, and causes us both to giggle every time we see it.

Wednesday 12 May 2010

The Erotic Potential Of My Wife

The story of an OCD collector, who's gradually been shunned from society due to his habits of obsessing over collections of cocktail sticks, campaign badges, labels on melons etc. Hector, our protagonist, is driven to attempted suicide over his out of control hobby to collect things. On the brink of recovery he meets Brigitte, the love of his life and attempts to put all of his past behind him and settle down to a regular life. However watching her wash the windows in their flat one day, causes Hector to have the most erotic moment of his life, soon he's doing everything he can to turn the windows dirty again and re-live the sight of his wife's beautiful legs on the ladder as she washes them. One thing leads to another and before we know it, Hector is caught up in his need to collect moments of her teetering on ladders, as we read about how this affects the couple and their surrounding odd collection of friends and relatives.

I picked up this book after reading a staff choice card on it in Waterstones one day, that, and the fact that it's got a rather lovely pair of well illustrated legs on the cover sold it to me (foot fetishist, me? never!). I really really loved this book, it reads like a script for a Jean-Pierre Jeunet film. Hector's odd obsession over his wife can easily be transferred onto all the little fetishes that we keep amongst our relationships, and the way that they affect our lives. Although tragic at times, this is a love story, a story of understanding fetishes and learning to embrace and celebrate the oddities in each other. This isn't an erotic novel, per se, which is why I've not nominated it for our Erotic Book Club, however for anyone who's a bit sexually wonky, I would highly recommend this read. There are sex scenes, there are tales of nude dinner parties, and indecent exposure in it, however the true eroticism of the book comes from the relationship that Hector and Brigitte have, and how it develops. It's funny, it's a little kinky, it's poignant, it's a little saucy and most of all it's a great read.

Monday 10 May 2010

DON'T MISS: Marc Quinn at the White Cube

A gallery with it's windows masked out and signs up saying "This exhibition contains adult sexual imagery, not suitable for children" was always going to perk up our interest, and so it was that one dull Sunday afternoon we slipped through the doors and into Marc Quinn's bizarre world. Showing at the White Cube Gallery in Hoxton Square till 26th June is Marc Quinn's latest solo show. Titled "Allanah, Buck, Catman, Chelsea, Michael, Pamela and Thomas" the show consists of sculptures and paintings all with an overtly sexual/gender theme. Marc came to fame as part of the YBA generation with his blood head cast, he's now turned his human casts to "people who've undergone extreme levels of plastic surgery and transformation".

The first thing that caught our eyes were the bronze casts of porn stars Allanah Starr and Buck Angel both of whom have gone through surgery to swap sexes but keep their genitals in place. Resulting in the bizarre porno they shot where a butch guy with a vagina gets pounded by a curvy girl with a big cock! Oh my. With giant toy like models of Michael Jackson's head, a giant open mouth and a huge sculpture of Thomas Beatie, the worlds first pregnant man, things don't get any less surreal as the exhibition goes on. Upstairs Pammy has been multiplied (blimey that's a lot of silicone) and stands flaunting her tattoo's to the pondering art audience, and outside in the square stand two of the most phallic flower sculptures you've ever seen in your life.

The show's really quite beautiful in a rather odd way, the tattoo's cut deep into the shiny bronze figures look amazing, and the bodies cast and on display are really quite intriguing. Alas though, much to our dismay, with Mr Quinn's art star price tags I don't think there is going to be a lovely sculpture of Allanah and Buck in our front room for some time yet to come.