DON'T MISS Free Torture Garden at the Barbican

To celebrate Halloween, Torture Garden are holding a FREE night at the barbican centre in London on Wed 4th November from 8pm - 1am. It's being held in association with the Robert Kusmirowski exhibition (Free admission till 12am) and includes:

10 - 1am: Shows & DJs in Clubstage on Level -1, Basement

The Urban Voodoo Machine - Live

The Baron & Missy's Missadventures - Sideshow Freakshow

DJ David TG & Guest: Mash-up Freakshow, Neo Swing, Gypsy Punk, Glamour Trash, Electro Clash

Dark Carnivale Freakshow Visuals

No enforced dresscode, but dress-up and explore your imagination and invade the Barbican! Wear a Mask, Fetish, Halloween, Carvivale, Circus, Burlesque, Cabaret, Masque Ball, Moulin Rouge, Body Art, Medical, Uniform, Surrealism etc (No nudity for this special event - as open to general public)

Free Admission

Barbican Centre

Silk Street

London EC2Y 8DS

As said above, there is no nudity because this is open to the "general public" of course the people dressed up in shiny latex are not the general public are they?

See you there...

DON'T MISS Carnal Knowledge: The Films of Shohei Imamura

If you a big fan of In The Realm of the Senses, then you probably shouldn't miss the season of Shohei Imamura films showing at the ICA from 23 - 31 October 2009.

Like Oshima, Imamura's films were often quite lurid and erotic spectacles that featured strong female characters and weren't afraid to explore lusty and often taboo sexual themes. And for a director who declared he was interested in "the lower part of the human body and the lower part of the social structure", I think he must be a man after our hearts!

WE LOVE YSL's Parisienne advert featuring Kate Moss

My oh my, did this put our panties in a twist when we saw such an advert at the cinemas the other night. Rather intoxicatingly hot, and Robin's fingers did grip Fanny's thigh when Ms Moss pulled her heels on at the end. Well done YSL. Let's just hope the scent is equally seductive.

DON'T MISS Saucy highlights of London Film Fest 09

Can't be bothered thumbing through LFF's lovely yet extensive 2009 guide just to find the sexy bits? Well, we've made it easy for you:

Cracks (UK, 2009)

Eva Green (she of Vesper in Casino Royale fame) playing a lesbian school mistress who may or may not hook up with one of her nubile teen students. Need we say more?

Chloe (USA/Canada, 2009)

Julianne Moore (who is still pretty fucking fit considering it's been 12 years since Boogie Nights) hires eternally nymphette-ish Amanda Seyfried to screw her husband and tell her the tales in Atom "Exotica" Egoyan latest film.

An Education (UK, 2009)

Having just popped her 16 year old cherry to a much older man in the swirl of swinging 60's London, the divine Carey Mulligan, standing at the window smoking in her negligee, utters the soon-to-be immortal line "All that poetry, and all those songs, about something that lasts no time at all". Expect lots of cone shaped bras pointing bosoms of all sizes to the sky and the infectious enthusiasm of a sex life just begun.

Adrift (Vietnam, 2009)

Twisting and turning sexual games in contemporary East Asia, described as "almost a Vietnamese 'Les Liaisons Dangereuses'", as friends fall in and out of each others beds.

Agent ProvocateurAutumn 09 - Mission To Earth

Agent Provocateurs Autumn range of delicious lingerie recently came out with a bang, with Super hero and Rock Goddess styling it certainly made an impression. Titled "Mission To Earth" it came complete with a graphic novel to promote the range. Bright colours and a wide variety of styles including everything from playsuits to tshirt sets. See it online here.
I love AP, although it is very expensive, they do make lingerie which is much more daring in terms of style than almost anyone else. So it was with great anticipation that I saw they had a new collection coming out. Fanny and I had previously chatted about their worrying use of overly photoshopped very skinny models, however this time, although the styling and photoshop seems to have gone through the roof, at least a few more of the models are women. On first impressions my two personal favourites of the collection were the Bullet & Melody sets (pictured above). However I have to say that compared to the marketing images, the Bullet playsuit in real life looks a bit more Ann Summers than Agent Provocateur, and certainly not worth the £145 price tag (stockings & thong are extra). Melody in real life looks great, the only problem is that the best bits (the ruffle skirts) aren't actually available to buy. All in all the range is generally lovely, but a little to much style over substance. I'd give it two pinches on the buttocks and a teasing wink out of five.		I much prefer the eye-catching marketing of AP's new season compared to some of their recent attempts (did the big hair, awful photoshopping of Sirens give everyone else a massive soft-on?) but it really leaves me wondering what the actual pieces look like... the marketing shots and ones of individual items seem to vary greatly, so I'd be heading instore before I part with my precious Pussy Pounds. A lady wants to have a little confidence in what she is buying. While much of it looks rather exciting, some of the more creative and risqué pieces sadly seem kinda cheap (hello, Hornette!), but maybe that's the look they are going for. The classicist in me l.o.v.e.s the look of Pantheria set and the Kameelion skirt but little else is melting my butter. Perhaps, gone are the days when I would have gladly splashed out on an entire AP range if I had the chance??? I give Mission To Earth two chipped red fingernails out of five.

Torture GardenLondon Fetish Ball 2009

Last night was the headline event of 2009's London Fetish Weekend, The London Fetish Ball hosted by Torture Garden at Mass in Brixton. Across 4 rooms over 2 floors, there was a variety of dj's and performances, play areas and dance floors, with a very dressed up crowd, as enforced by TG organisers. Running from 10pm till 6am, tickets ranged from £23 to £30 and was attended by about 1,000 fetishists and pleasure-seekers from around the globe.
Summer has been a bit quiet at the TG parties, so it was delightful to be at a packed-out party once more! Last night was a pleasure to attend, with Scottee dj's set of trashy hits setting my well-heeled feet on fire and Esme's delightful 'Meat' performance putting a flutter in my heart. The venue was, as usual, a suitable setting for a party of such size and style, and was thankfully without any of the hitches that apparently spoilt May's Birthday Ball earlier this year, (such as ridiculous drink queues - not that we attended because of the SEone venues distasteful insistence on scanning all attendees ID details into a database). Once again, Allen & the TG team did a marvellous job at hosting one of the world's top fetish parties and ensured we staggered home at dawn, rubbing each others sore toes and giggling about the evenings adventures. Last night gets four lipstick kisses out of five from this very hungover latex lover.		I'd been looking for an excuse to slip into my new shiny nun's habit for a while, so the TG Fetish Ball seemed the perfect opportunity. With Everything from Australian Disco Sailors on the dancefloor to Rubber dominatrixes kicking guys in the balls in the dungeon, this really was a party not to be missed. The music was incredibly danceable and the venue perfect. My one gripe is the 'Fashion Shows' that are often put on as performances, in comparison to some of the actual performers they pale in comparison. The drinks are a little pricey (£6 Spirit & Mixer) but considering the atmosphere and the fact most people are struggling to balance in ridiculous heels, perhaps a hindrance to drinking too much is a great idea. For a club where many people spend far too much time and money perfecting their look before they dare enter, TG remains one of the friendliest and welcoming London club's I've been to. Robin gives this Four very hard spanks on the bottom (sorry about those Fanny).

American Apparel Sheer Luxe Cut Out Tights

AA have released a new pair of tights - pretty basic in every way except that they have cut the ass out of them! Creating a thong effect, these sheer lovelies are a rather sexy and suggestive twist to traditional tights. At £26 / $28 a pop, they are available in AA stores and online.
To be fair, I'm not a great fan of tights, in fact generally I abhor them. The first view I caught of these ones however was as my blindfold was removed 3 inches from Fanny's bottom. "They are a bit peculiar" she said, "but keep an open mind". At first I wasn't sure what was going on, she was plainly wearing a thong and a pair of stockings, then as my eyes focussed I began to twig. Certainly they beat any other pair of tights I've seen in my life, top marks for novelty and they do frame a bottom quite deliciously. However I have to say, as with all tights, they do have one great downfall (and I'm not talking about an unflattering gusset), you still have to take them off to actually have sex. I'd give them 2 cheeky winks out of 5 with a bonus point for effort.		I'm a big fan of anything that highlights ones ass, even if they are hidden. And thankfully, AA chose a model for these with a fuller bottom (than most fashion models) which highlights how delightful these tights can be when one is presenting a rear view. They are quite sheer, so you wouldn't really be wearing them for warmth mid-winter anyway, so they aren't really designed for practical purposes, and at such a price, if you are anything like me (and a pair of tights only last one or two wears before you fall drunkenly in bushes or snag them on your bicycle) then then are only really designed to be worn in the bedroom. Which isn't anything to complain about I think. These tights get 3 hard spanks out of 5 from me! xxx