The Irrepressibles ‘St Valentine's Day Massacre’ featuring Bourgeois & Maurice and Jonny Woo

On V-Day, we were lucky enough to score tickets to the sold-out St Valentine's Day Massacre at the Queen Elizabeth Hall. Billing the evening of live performance was the conceptually staged, alurring chamber orchestra ensemble The Irrepressibles (pictured), led by composer Jamie McDermott. In support was an amazing line-up of queer caberet starlets Bourgeois & Maurice and Jonny Woo.

To be very fair, the reason I was gagging to go to this is because I L.O.V.E. Jonny Woo and have been dying to see Bourgeois & Maurice for the longest time. And I wasn't dissapointed. Woo was stunning as ever, strutting before a mesmerised crowd, woo'ing them to drop their PC South Bank Centre snobbery and yell 'faggot' at him at the top of their lungs, as he flicked his waist length wig at them. Bourgeois & Maurice were seriously divine, frolicking in a bizzare and beautiful array of costumes and unrelenting set of adoring tunes.		After a lazy valentines day of opening naughty presents, and not making it far out of the bedroom, it was quite refreshing to doll ourselves up and head out for some fresh air and culture at the South Bank. Fanny had been bigging up both Jonny Woo and Borgeois & Maurice for weeks, so it was finally my chance to see what all the fuss was about. In one word, AMAZING. The only problem with the evening in my mind was that B&M should have been given top billing. The Irrepressibles were atmospheric, beautiful, haunting, and a host of other great adjectives, but Jonny and B&M's wit and lack of any pretension just blew the main act out of the water.

DON'T MISS: Gutterslut2nd Birthday Party

This Sat 27th February sees GutterSlut's 2nd Birthday Party bash, an event not to be missed! Rhythm Factory in Whitechapel, London host the night with all of the outrageous cross dressed performance dirty rave chaos that you'd expect from the Gutterslut Crew. With appearances from the faboulous Johnny Woo and their resident Miss Crystal Mc the night is set to explode in an orgy of glitter, dirty beats, stiletto heels, loud mouths and big big hair.
Tickets are available for £8 in advance from the wonderful Dalston Superstore, or online at ticketweb.co.uk . After attending their NYE bash, and dancing our sock off whilst big hairy Italians kneeled down and literally begged Robin to let them run off with Fanny, we can safely say this is a night like no other!

Don't say we didn't warn you xxx

DON'T MISS: Butt Magazine's Valentine's Party in NYC

There are few things in this world that make Fanny wish she was a man more than Butt Magazine. It is truly one of the best. That's why we highly recommend if you do have a cock and are in NYC this weekend, you head along to:

"Join BUTT, bombshell Lorenzo Martone and No. 28-cover-boy Kele Okereke this Sunday in New York to celebrate the new issue with an evening jam-packed with all sorts of amazingness: a lubed-up massage parlor manned by Corey Corey, breathtaking go-go realness, DJs Cesar Padilla and Michael Magnan (and Kele also promised to do some spinning), a super surprise performance by House of Ladosha, and some exciting BUTT give-aways (including calendars and preview copies of the upcoming issue). The party gets started this Sunday, February 14th at 10pm at Club Rush, 579 Avenue of the Americas in New York City. Open bar is from 10pm to 11pm so let’s get tipsy!"

Oh my!

x

EROTIC BOOK CLUB: This month - Girls!

This month we will be reading Girls by Nic Kelman

"This sure-to-be-controversial first novel is told entirely in the second person by a series of nameless, interchangeable high-level businessmen. All of them share a predilection for young girls, which they describe in pornographic detail. A banker on a business trip to Korea follows the advice of his older boss and orders a hooker from room service. He is shocked by the fact that she is barely out of adolescence, but that seems to fuel his passion, and although he knows he should feel guilty, instead he feels fantastic. A CEO who is vacationing with family friends starts having sex with their teenage daughter; his obsession leads to his own divorce and a lawsuit from his former friends.. Disturbing erotica that is sure to draw requests." Joanne Wilkinson

Join us on the 25th February to discuss it...

For more details see our Erotic Book Club website!

x

Naughty Paris January 2010

Well, what a weekend! Sailing out of London on the Eurostar on Saturday afternoon, with Fanny perfectly encased in her birthday present of the AP Iona leopard print bodysuit (teamed with a suitably crazy Cadbury's-chocolate-purple satin pencil skirt, meow!) we were soon clinking glasses of Taittinger whilst niblling red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing (Fanny's fave) and secrectly reading our new copy of Yes, Sir together as we made our way to our beloved Paris.

After a little research, mainly discerning how far each one was from Louboutin's store, we had decided upon staying at the Hotel Vieux Saule (in the Marais, but of course) and were delighted to find that the recently refurbished modern rooms (on the 5th floor - make sure you request this!) have white perspex ceilings which, when you adjust the lighting, basically become a mirror above you. Suffice to say, we then spent most of the weekend in our room!

But we did of course saunter out into the streets and were very delighted when we stumbled across a little pocket of naughty shops on the rue de Roi Sicile. Dollhouse is really cute sex shop with jeux des filles! We we're really impressed as it was even more inviting and enticing than our London love, Sh! Great toys, espcially those by Germany notorious Fun Factory, and cute accesories. We will definitely be back for more! Across the road is also L'Homme Invisible, where we were delighted with the array of men's pants, especially those from Gregg Homme, and next door we poked our noses into La Dame 2 Coeurs, which had a few lovely pieces including a set from Italian brand, Luna di Seta.

We must admit, though, our prime motivation was to have a little Louboutin birthday treat session... well, not exactly buying anything, but maybe trying on a pair or two (and by that we mean slipping Fanny's size 6 kittens into them - sadly I don't think they do a Robin size 9) and recording it in our memories for later...

But when we finally made our way out and about - Quelle horreur! - they were closed and there was a sad little Fanny and Robin left staring through the windows like orphans in the snow.

There will always be next time though! And when we do, we definitely want to check out Chantal Thomass and Crazy Horse! Perhaps when it is a little warmer though xxx

Quick! Catch theValentine specials!

If you haven't thought about V Day yet, here some more special offers to stimulate your imagination!


If you fancy whisking your lover away for a relaxing weekend of pleasure them we mightly suggest the Royal Day Spa in Tunbridge Wells! This place is simply d.i.v.i.n.e, a personal fave and was voted best UK Day Spa 2009! And this Valentines Day, they are offering a couples package for a whole day of delights for only £180!

Prefer something a little rubbery? Libidex are having a whopping 25% off everything online for their Valentines Day sale. Maybe it's time to get her that catsuit you, I mean she, has always wanted...

If you sign up to Made by Niki's VIP email list, they will send you a 10% discount code. Plus, as a Valentine's special, they will send you a free gift box with every Fresh Foundations knicker or thong purchase!

Score a discount from Mint Siren - when ordering before Feb 6th, just put MINTLOVE in the code box before you adding items to your basket.

And check out LouLou Loves You too! Enter 'HAPPYLOUYEAR' at checkout for 25% discount on all orders until February 7th.

Happy shopping! x

Club RubHeaven & Hell Party - Jan 2010

Club Rub provocatively sauntered into 2010 with a brand new venue in Vauxhall and a launch party entitled Latex Heaven & Leather Hell. After having had lots of fun at their previous East London haunt, we were looking forward to testing out the new club with great anticipation, even if it did mean we could no longer walk (stagger) home. The lovely Kim (Queen of Clubs) had kindly given our blog a boost in her email after we mentioned their new night in one of our don't miss posts. So after a quick shopping trip for new latex goodies in Honour, Fanny squeezed into a latex nun's habit and Robin a lovely pair of shiny hot pants before jumping into a cab and going to sample their delights.
Finally an excuse to steal Robin's nun's habit for an evening! I was very excited by the theme and really pleased at the effort many people had put into their outfits. The new venue gave Club Rub a lot more energy, the crowd was really positive and friendly and having Jason Atomic sketching portraits on the hallway walls was such a treat. By the end of the evening, I was really missing having the dark corners that the old venue used to have - bright lights and no music in the seating area didn't give you much privacy - and even the play area felt like it was more of an after thought than an attraction, but this could have been because the space was so packed! The turn out was really mixed and rather fabulous and it was nice to be in the Vauxhall ghetto - right where a club like this should be! Can't wait to see what the future parties will be like here once the Rub settles in. Undoubtedly 4 out of 5 Hail Mary's from Sister Fanny.		Wow, the new Lightbox venue certainly lives up to it's name with a cavernous main dance room covered in LED's, lasers shining and glowing like a 90's rave on acid. After slipping through the cloak room and heaving crowds into the club it took us both a little while to find it, through the chill out room and a performance/play/photography space, both of which could have perhaps benefitted with a little background music to set the scene. The crowd was super friendly and Fanny and I both benefited from an incredibly eager man who was polishing up everyone's rubber with gusto, oh my! Through in the dancefloor the beats were flowing with two podiums and a mixture of straight & gay couples, naked fiercely pumping men (jesus how much viagra did you take) and disco kids shaking their thang. We danced our socks off to the electro for ages and then rushed back when the electro stopped and Run DMC popped up their heads for a moment. On the whole the club was a wonderful night, friendly, welcoming and incredibly shiny. I'd give it 4 gloops of lovely latex shine out of 5.

WE LOVE: Dior Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2010!

So, having more than just a little pony club fetish, we couldn't help but be rather excited by the landed gentry look being trotted down the catwalk by John Galliano for Dior at Paris' Haute Couture week. Tailored jackets, veiled tophats, riding skirts and crops - oh my! But what we really want to know, is how high do those boots go, because we are practically on our knees begging for a pair at even a potential knee-length....

For more swoon worthy equestrian photos see the lovely Jezebel.

Spoil your lover this Valentines Day!

Here at Please Sir headquarters, we say forget the roses and find yourself a nice big shiny padlock this February 14th! Lock you and your lover in for a Sunday of some real desire-fuelled fun, and maybe spoil them with one of these lovely treats.....

Does anything whisper j'taime in your lady loves ear quite like pretty red underwear? We think not. And that makes Agent Provocateur's Minnie set by far the best buy for V Day 2010. Oh my, how we love this spotty set!

Or perhaps for girls who like something a little less traditional, there is Kiki De Montparnasse's Seductive Cotton Tank. We think you could have a lot of fun in this little number in and out of the bedroom.

For the guys, we couldn't help but be intrigued by Gregg Homme's Chopper briefs when we spied them in Paris over the weekend... Now that could really give him a surprise on Feb 14th when you whip these babies out!

Or if your boy prefers something a little less revealing, we think Slick It Up's leather look trooper outfit Dirk. Undoubtedly set to make your submissive panties more than just a little squishy!

Or perhaps one for the true romantics, Bordello London have this stunning leather cape from Keira in store and we think it is totally swoon-worthy!

For something to play with on V Day, we suggest perhaps Coco De Mer's rather exciting Obsidian Horse Dildo.....

Or get in early with 2 tickets to Torture Garden's Valentine's Day Ball on Feb 13th, and wake up together the next morning, two very smitten little love bunnies!

If you are shopping around, score a discount from Mint Siren - when ordering before Feb 6th, just put MINTLOVE in the code box before you adding items to your basket.

And check out LouLou Loves You too! Enter 'HAPPYLOUYEAR' at checkout for 25% discount on all orders until February 7th.

If you happen to be without someone to tie up this Valentines, then we highly suggest you pop along to Bordello London on the 13th for their singles cocktail classes (click on above flyer for details).